Health: Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML - FML

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 491

You deserved it 7 423

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 617

You deserved it 33 004

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 928

You deserved it 7 350

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 330

You deserved it 14 194

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 985

You deserved it 4 838

Give me strength

By wtbfiber - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 528

You deserved it 6 461

By paulinapo - 28/03/2013 13:52 - United States - Staten Island

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 387

You deserved it 2 851

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 334

By 092492 - 05/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 543

You deserved it 3 994

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 494

You deserved it 12 940

Always wear camo gear

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 322

Next

Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 4 January 2010 12:31

most. intense. shit. ever.

Impromptu_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 12:22

That'll teach you to build it up. Next time, when nature calls, pick up the phone.

Comments

juddley85 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 14:53

deer grammar man (pendatic) u r muy hero ceep arp d good werk in d war agaynst stewpid peeple that downt speek good

iSwag 0

Friday 8 January 2010 13:05

Lol The Battle at Porcelain Hill lol I would say FYL but this made too people laugh lol

Nightfire01 0

Friday 8 January 2010 15:14

This is the best FML ever.

theagony123 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:15

hey its not impossible right.

Gormare 0

Monday 11 January 2010 12:13

"Moar" is actually a childish way of saying "mother" in dannish, lol.

Calicobeard 0

Monday 11 January 2010 20:51

that is epic.

alewares 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 22:32

Did you reduce your movement speed by 50%?

Kode_Ex 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 19:12

Lolz I know those types of.... battles. but I have never heard of pulling something because of sum one not having teh p0wr... incredible. you really didn't deserve that... but you couldve ate moat wheaties

ryguy997 0

Monday 1 March 2010 7:55

how is that possible?

Miss_gord 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 7:26

that must have been an epic shit:O

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

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Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 794

You deserved it 22 749

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

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You deserved it 3 102

The Top

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 349

You deserved it 8 246

Today, I got let go from work all because my work permit expired. I’ve been in the process of renewal with USCIS for over 10 months now, but things are delayed due to COVID. I showed them the notice of renewal, they said it wasn’t enough, “Rules are rules.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 123

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 874

You deserved it 3 636

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 898

You deserved it 3 019

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 035

You deserved it 7 361

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 083

You deserved it 2 516