Intimacy: Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even...

By mad dude - 12/01/2011 07:46

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 859

You deserved it 41 572

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Same thing different taste

Tangled web

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 10:00

Today, I realized that I might be falling for a girl. She's fucking beautiful. She can't love me, I'm not good enough for her, and she's in love with someone else. Besides, I have a girlfriend but it never seems like we're close and I don't even know if I had a crush on her before, but I still love her as a friend and can't break her heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 750

By Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 659

You deserved it 2 513

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 528

You deserved it 5 805

By ohmylordy - 29/10/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 361

You deserved it 6 664

By Patrick - 27/01/2010 11:55 - United States

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 531

You deserved it 5 292

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 413

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 986

You deserved it 3 403

By Forever Alone x2 - 07/01/2012 19:47 - United States

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 062

You deserved it 4 087

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 15:14 - United States - Dalton

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 423

You deserved it 1 913

By crazycatlady - 19/11/2012 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 370

You deserved it 18 428

chasin_butterfli 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:21

You understand that you have to actually be getting it before you can be whipped by it, right?

Cinn_fml 22

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:42

Just learn that the word 'no' exists, because sometimes, it just needs to be used.

Comments

notalwaysbesta 14

Thursday 13 January 2011 5:07

I have a guy like that. Only he just doesn't like "dating" and I'm a genius.

coleycakes36 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 5:26

embrace it.

sithspaz 9

Thursday 13 January 2011 5:29

Been there dude. I feel for you. It sucks when you figure it out. My advice is just get the hell away from her.

megamandude455 10

Thursday 13 January 2011 5:32

what the hell does that even mean!?

Sasoono 1

Thursday 13 January 2011 5:41

well its time to put away the hair conditioner, tighten your thong and quit being such a PANZI! :D

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Thursday 13 January 2011 7:28

one word ... loser

jayalexander 7

Thursday 13 January 2011 8:01

me too bro... just roll with it

Doyle911 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 8:44

Ryan???

fersure_not 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 8:57

hahahaha WIN!

hightimes90 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 9:08

POONER

tothevictor 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 11:11

Don't put the pussy on a pedestal!!

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The Top

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 041

You deserved it 326

Today, I saw a Tesla truck in my rear-view mirror and thought, "Oh, look how cool the front looks!" Five seconds later it rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 167

The Top

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted, "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 756

You deserved it 15 040

Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 004

You deserved it 32 277

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 102

You deserved it 42 161

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 796

You deserved it 1 905

Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 145

Today, my computer crashed and corrupted my games files and deleted over 100 hours of saved data. I have to now start all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 343

Same thing different taste

Tangled web

Good boy, best boy

Timing is everything

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