By Ticklish - 13/04/2014 09:33 - United States - Marion

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 693
You deserved it 4 458

Same thing different taste

Top comments

xXToxicPenguinXx 12

could be worse.. could hit him every time he touches you

"Why did you break up with your boyfriend?" "He tickled me" seems legit.

Comments

It's okay. It happens to me too. He's gonna regret it now that you can't enjoy getting intimate with him since he decided to make you paranoid with the tickles.

To everyone saying "it could be worse, at least he isn't beating you:" The fact that op's boyfriend is disrespecting her physical boundaries in one way, but without taking it all the way down to the furthest rung of douchebaggery (beatings and rape), is still not indicative of this being a good or healthy situation. He's not worthy of congratulation just because he hasn't started whaling on her yet. He still refuses to acknowledge her lack of consent for his constant invasion of her space via the tickling, which sounds funny but isn't at all. How can she be comfortable around a person who won't respect her limits? Good luck with any kind of physical intimacy there. I LOATHE being tickled and probably would've blacked boyfriend's eye if he continued to do so after I told him to stop.

You take shit WAY too seriously. Really? He's pretty much raping her because he's tickling her? So if your boyfriend tries holding your hand without asking your permission he's raping you and not respecting your boundaries? I don't expect people to ask my permission for things like that. See, I'm not an a-hole. I know the difference between rape and someone just being a ********. Maybe she just needs to st down and have a conversation with it. Not dump him because he's a budding rapist. You need help for your unresolved issues.

I do think that #39 is being a bit extreme, but there is some merit. If OP has told her bf not to tickle her and has ignored that request, he IS violating her personal space. I don't think that someone that just tickles someone is a budding rapist, but if someone habitually ignores the wishes of another person that's not cool. Also, I can sympathize with #39 because I, too, can't tolerate being tickled. For most people it's funny. For me, it freaks me out. It's a control issue. When someone tickles you they're taking away your control because it causes your body to convulse and react in a way you don't feel or want. In that way, it's vaguely on the same track of rape, but there's a HUGE gap there, and I think comparing them belittles rape, rather than making tickling look more severe. It's really a matter of how freaked by tickling OP is. If it's just annoying to her, that sucks, but he could just be an idiot with some other really good points. If it's as upsetting for her as it is for me, she should have a very FIRM talk with him and if he ignores it, he should be dumped. Depends entirely on OP's feelings.

Reread for comprehension. "Without taking it all the way down to the furthest rung of douchebaggery" means tickling and rape are NOT the same, but that while one is an example one of the most despicable crimes known to man and the other (if unwanted) is an obnoxious personal violation, they are both representative of a gleeful invasion of another's right to physical integrity.

Yea, and she's a grown adult who could defend herself if it really bothered. How? Slapping his hand away. Telling him if he touched her again she'd make it hurt. The fact is the OP said nothing other than "I've got a conditioned response that whenever he touches me I flinch." Frankly it's her fault. She should tell him and if he can't stop she should dump him. If she won't do either, she has no right to complain about it and the guy should be her ex. If she does tell him "Hey, you know I really don't like being tickled. I know you think it's cute and to you it's flirting, but it really bothers me." and he stops, then problem solved. I don't think me saying that someone saying "urmagurd it's rape if they touch you against your will! they're taking away your control! they're rapists" is taking things WAY overboard. He's not drugging her, tying her down to a board and tickling her. She has control. She steps away. She blocks him. She slaps his hand away. She tells him to stop. I mean, unless she's a quadriplegic and or has no limbs and is incapable of speech then she's got plenty of it, she just doesn't feel like exercising it.

PainOfDemise 11

You could have developed a response to hit him all the time instread.

look it up online. the nazis would tickle the homosexuals in the camps to torture them and oftentimes, tickling leaves worse mental scars than something physical. you should probably read up on it before commenting. and what? obviously not everything can be considered abuse.

iAshelle 11
NeneWilliams 8

I have the exact same problem with my boyfriend lol. I understand your pain op.

I used to have a similar problem. My childhood friend is thin as hell and he spent about a full year poking me every chance he had. I ended up turning around from the mere fact of sensing him behind me, he didn't even have to actually touch me and I knew he was here and would tense up.

Unfortunately I have a similar response to being poked near the waist, by people in general ==" I jump...

I know exactly how you feel! I flinch every time he even comes near haha