Intimacy: Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German,... - FML

By kittens go meow - 15/02/2012 00:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 887

You deserved it 3 563

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By lostforwords - 06/08/2011 19:10 - Ireland

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 6 303

By Anonymous - 29/10/2010 23:53 - United States

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 6 920

Turn off

By whatdoesitmatter - 01/10/2013 10:47 - India - Erayu

Spicy

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 179

You deserved it 12 010

And they call it puppy love…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2023 01:00 - Brazil - Sao Jose do Rio Preto

Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 323

Thanks, I hate it

By ZeldaovaPeach - 05/07/2016 12:44 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 236

You deserved it 1 207

Never forget

By Hello - 20/06/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 443

You deserved it 3 986

Hilariously sexy

By Laceylace - 22/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 247

You deserved it 13 232

By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 438

You deserved it 7 587

By Stalked - 29/04/2016 08:49 - Czech Republic - Brno

Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 103

You deserved it 1 580

By dunicha - 17/11/2011 00:37 - United States

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 375

You deserved it 38 326

Next

Top comments

glittercookies 12

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:06

He probably meant on his.

DontClickOnMe 28

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:05

Aww, someone has a secret admirer. Too bad, they're rude.

Comments

Bheka 1

Thursday 16 February 2012 16:08

German to English or English to German translation @ google translate is crap. Through translating 'Welcome in ...' four times I got 'We accept you in...'. Especially German is tough to translate because we have some words with 5+ translations to Englisch. I know it. I'm german.

Genoc123 5

Friday 17 February 2012 5:59

Ok it was me,lol

yogamaster9000 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 2:53

In German that's an idiom for "I love you"

nic7973 23

Saturday 18 February 2012 4:44

could be worse, they may have wished for you to choke on a small one!

michela_yates 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:20

hahahah!!! I wonder who it was from

JayJavaMonsterr 10

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:27

DON'T TRUST GOOGLE TRANSLATE! THEIR TRANSLATIONS SUCK!

Vkins 9

Tuesday 21 February 2012 11:40

It would be pretty awesome if you could post the letter here. Native German dude reporting in, willing to translate properly.

speedy420 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 12:53

fantastic mein frauline ^-^

sdeniro 6

Monday 27 February 2012 17:50

Omfg I almost shitted myself!!

thatsabiggun 11

Monday 26 March 2012 1:51

well now u know hitler really did love you, he hopes u give a deepthroat to someone

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The Top

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 474

The Top

Today, during a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 310

You deserved it 401

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 139

You deserved it 49 784

Today, my step-son broke his glasses. Our doctor said he would no longer see us because my step-son is transgender, and a new law in our state allows him to do this. Apparently, it was foolish to be honest on medical forms. Finals are in a month but we have to find a new doctor before he can even study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 477

Today, after a day spent together, the police came to my girlfriend's place, telling me to leave without explanation. I'm now at a hotel, discovering she made false, negative statements about me in papers they provided. Despite recent love and commitment, it seems she wants to break up, leaving me confused and alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 118

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 320

He told you...

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 312