Love: Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway....

FML for mobile
Free

By prettylady? - 28/10/2012 04:22 - United States

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 130

You deserved it 2 862

April Pisces: Traps and Laughs
Laugh at the best (and worst) April 1st jokes. Watch out, you could be next! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By errrmkl46 - 02/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 622

You deserved it 3 996

By lalala2494 - 27/05/2019 22:05

Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 223

By upsetandannoyed - 01/01/2012 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 997

You deserved it 3 695

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 887

You deserved it 3 144

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 305

You deserved it 4 805

Too good to be true

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 08:00

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 121

Behave yourselves

By DogStew - 16/11/2023 08:00

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 101

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 436

You deserved it 8 586

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 628

You deserved it 9 665

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 911

You deserved it 5 154

ycrem0n 21

Sunday 28 October 2012 13:38

Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you

loloalltheway 23

Sunday 28 October 2012 13:34

Overly attached stranger?

Comments

AmericanJedhead 10

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:15

Also, if he did live there, then why would he have stood OUTSIDE the apartment complex for two hours?

dabeast15 7

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:21

Just tell him to **** of or ull call the police!

brand0n93 5

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:21

lol some people take things too seriously

CuriousAlien 7

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:25

Lol are you the first person to ever say bless you to him.

crimsonlover4 31

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:36

32- well he could come from Borat's glorious nation of Kazakhstan...and it really might be the first time someone's said that lol

lilmama8869 7

Sunday 28 October 2012 14:25

Yea I'd have called the police when he started following me. Sweetie call the police better safe than sorry I always say :)

ryguy7878 8

Sunday 28 October 2012 15:01

I'm a complete moron. Just throwin' it out there, errbodeh.

SanityIsOverated 3

Sunday 28 October 2012 15:54

...what?

tpuff 7

Sunday 28 October 2012 15:21

You probably shouldn't have shown him where you live

dmac1342 4

Sunday 28 October 2012 15:21

You might wanna call the police

gc327072 30

Sunday 28 October 2012 15:34

Quit talking to yourself, Noor! Have you been off your medicine again?

jennykneeshaw 4

Sunday 28 October 2012 16:22

Hey it happens. Can't expect to meet your soulmate on the Internet! ;)

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Scary Miscellaneous Death Work Relatable AITA Love Technology Transportation Cars Cooking Intimacy Awkward Sex Friends Underwear Cats Farts Motherhood Politics Argument Family Shopping Money Capitalism Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Health Dentist

The Top

Today, I found out my oldest brother is getting married in two weeks. I heard about it through one of my two sisters, who pretty much helped end his last marriage, and who he hasn’t spoken to in 3 years. She wanted to complain about the invite taking so long. I still haven’t been invited, and I thought we were on good terms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 67

Today, I got broken up with yet again by my on-and-off ex-girlfriend. I had ended things with an amazing girl I was seeing just to go back to my ex. She'd made it clear that if things went wrong with my ex, I wasn't allowed to pursue her again. I tried to hit her up again anyway, but she told me to “take a short walk off a pier.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 313

The Top

Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 14 965

Today, while working as a bank teller, a woman came in with a $100k check. I commented, "Wow, I really could do with one of these!" She responded, "It's a life insurance check. I'd rather have my son back," and teared up in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 3 961

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 560

You deserved it 13 834

Today, my ex stuck it in the wrong hole because he couldn’t find the right one, then he sucked my toes. I'm never going near another man again after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 266

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 100

You deserved it 6 226

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 668

You deserved it 3 055

Same thing different taste

Gross!

Too good to be true

Behave yourselves

Top comments

Comments