he's such a rookie.

You need to follow her around a bit, find out where she lives, and then make it a daily routine to follow her everywhere she goes. That way you will not make a mistake like this.

Invest in a black hoodie and anonymous myspace page. I hear that gets you the ladies.

I'm eating a burger now!

I'm tossing a salad now!

14- You shouldn't eat so scarcely... Oh wait, this is where all the trouble started, isn't it? Damn...

Ikr?! seriously lol I would have laughed and said "srry cutie but I'm a vegetarian, but that was a good one! ;) y don't u sit down?" seems more appropriate

yep, I agree, she sounds like a biatch. She could have just smiled and explained that she's veggy

She's probably lacking in protein.

its surprising how women are expected to greet every little scrap of male attention with a smile and a cute giggle. this chick had her meal interrupted by a complete stranger who she felt had insulted her, and she made it clear that she wanted to be left alone. she has no obligation to be polite in this situation, and her reaction certainly doesnt make her a bitch.

He didn't insult her. If she felt that way, she's being way too sensitive. Also, even if she felt like he has insulted her, she didn't need to be rude. He told her she was beautiful and could get away with eating more. He didn't spill his drink on her and try to feel her boobs.

people are responsible for their own actions and the consequent reactions they evoke in others. just because he didnt outright grope her doesnt mean hes not responsible for having "complimented" her in a potentially insulting manner - it is not this womans job to protect a strange man feelings. saying that the woman was "too sensitive" is a cop out that takes the blame off the man in this situation and puts it on the woman. she is not responsible for the rude way he approached her and she is entirely entitled to whatever emotional reaction she pleases. i think its important to note here that the fact he didnt know she was vegetarian wasnt the issue. obviously he couldnt have known that - it was that a complete stranger came up to her, interrupted her meal, made unprovoked assumptions about her self-esteem and body image, and made comments about her weight and physical attractiveness. its not surprising that she was insulted/creeped out, and its not surprising that she reacted negatively. that doesnt make her a bitch, it makes her sane. if a guy is bad, awkward, or insulting when he flirts, thats not the ladys fault.

That wasn't insulting at all. He never made any assumptions. He didn't say "Hey, you're not fat, so why are you eating that?" He's saying that she's beautiful and COULD eat more. In this situation she was the only one who was rude or insulting at all. I mean, really? Interrupting her meal? So that means that no one could ever walk up to someone else while they're eating because that would be rude. It's no wonder men think we're over-sensitive and bitch too much at stupid things....there's women like this one in the world. If I had been the woman in that situation I would have probably been a bit taken aback at first, but I would have smiled and said, "Thanks, that's sweet." If he tried to pursue it further, I might POLITELY tell him I'm not interested, or I might let him sit and chat with me. I definitely would not be a bitch to him like this woman was.

Like I said - you're entitled to whatever emotional reaction suits you. If YOU would have smiled and answered politely, great, you have the option to do that. But you don't have the right to suppressed other people's emotions or make them conform to your method of handling the situation. Calling someone a bitch because they didn't act exactly like you would have is not very mature. In fact, it's kind of bitchy.

She's not a bitch because she didn't handle it the same way I would have. She's a bitch because she was rude. She can have whatever emotional reaction she wants, you can't control how you feel about something, but you CAN control how you act on it. So what you're saying is that the BITCH in this scenario doesn't have to control her behavior like any mature adult would do, but OP should have "suppressed" his emotions and not complimented a pretty girl? She acted inappropriately. Period. End of story. Quite honestly, I really don't give a damn if you think I'm a bitch or not. You're just a user name on the computer screen to me, why should your opinion matter to me? Oh, right...it doesn't.

I didn't say you were a bitch. I was merely trying to point out that your judgement of another person's behaviour was awfully similar to your own. However if having the word "bitch" applied to you makes you react so strongly, maybe you should reconsider how you apply that title to other women and the effects that word has. Personally, I think you're heavily indoctrinated into a society that expects women to bend over backwards to protect men's feelings. This isn't the 1800s where a woman has to be pleasant and avoid using foul language in the company of men. This woman has a right to speak her mind and express how she feels, and although I agree that people shouldn't strive to be rude and should attempt to be polite whenever possible, this woman obviously felt disturbed and reacted accordingly. There are, of course, details missing here that make it difficult to properly assess the situation (the guy's tone of voice, his body language, the body language of the woman which might have communicated that she wanted to be left alone), but obviously he didn't come off as a nice or polite person to her if she responded in such a way. Like I said, she had absolutely no obligation to protect this random guy's feelings.

"a society that expects women to bend over backwards for men" men have to do the same for women, if not more. and also i guess all women are epected to think theyre fat, otherwise this idiot wouldnt have though "youre not fat, you could eat more if you wanted too" was a good pick up line. i agree it was insulting

Whoa whoa...wait...telling you that I don't care is reacting strongly? Wow...that just really shot everything you've said straight to Hell. Not caring what someone else thinks is not reacting strongly haha I don't expect women to bend over backwards for men, nor men to bend over backwards for women. I think you are an overly-feminist hippie who thinks that women should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want. I bet if this situation were reversed and a woman had approached a man, you would feel like the man was wrong. I agree with the comment above me in the sense that, nowadays at least, men are expected to just deal with women. They are expected to bend over backwards and do whatever it takes to make a woman happy. They're told to put up with PMS and mood swings, they're told that your wife is always right, and they have to become accustomed to "Yes, dear. Whatever you say, dear." It's ridiculous. Feminism has gone too far. The whole point is EQUALITY not domination over men. Sure, in many ways women are not taken seriously, but it's because we behave like this. We can't just expect men to be our little emotional slaves. I still disagree that what he said was rude. Saying "You're beautiful" is very different from saying "You're not fat."

"Whoa whoa...wait...telling you that I don't care is reacting strongly? Wow...that just really shot everything you've said straight to Hell. Not caring what someone else thinks is not reacting strongly haha" I assumed I'd offended you since we had a steady back-and-forth debate for 5 or 6 comments, then suddenly you claimed you "didn't care" about the discussion. If I was wrong about that, then fair enough, but you did come back and comment again. "Feminism has gone too far. The whole point is EQUALITY not domination over men. Sure, in many ways women are not taken seriously, but it's because we behave like this. We can't just expect men to be our little emotional slaves." Feminism has not gone too far. Feminism has not gone far enough. True third wave feminism is about equal rights for men, women, LGBT, and people of various ethnic and socio-economic classes, and this is something we do not have yet. I do not believe in women dominating men, but I do believe that women (and men) have the right to express their displeasure when they've been offended and stand up for themselves in those situations. Feminism shouldn't even need to come into that. "I bet if this situation were reversed and a woman had approached a man, you would feel like the man was wrong." You are completely putting words in my mouth. If the roles were reversed I would think it was be just as ridiculous if the man was called an asshole for having reacted negatively. If someone insults you and you smile and act polite instead of standing up for yourself, you seriously need to work on your self-esteem and submission issues. Doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, it makes no sense to be polite to someone who has offended you. And it doesn't matter if you find what the man said to be insulting or not. The point is (from my reading), that the woman did take it as an insult. So she reacted in a way that made the man go away. It could have been better, she could have explained why it was offensive or what he did wrong, but in the end she still achieved her goal of getting rid of the jerk that barged in on her meal. And this doesn't mean I support being rude in all situations where guys flirt with girls. Definitely not - I've seen countless women completely humiliate men who approach them just because they thought the man was unattractive. I don't agree with that - I don't agree with putting down a man just because he isn't what your looking for. In those situations you should definitely be polite when turning a man down. But again, if someone offends you, kick them to the curb. There's no reason to be polite.

Not caring about your opinion, and not caring about the discussion are two very, VERY different things. Apparently you don't get around much on the comments. I really like to argue. No, you are so wrong it's not even funny. TRUE FEMINISM is about FEMALES. You wanna throw in the fight for equal rights for everyone and we call that EGALITARIANISM. How is that putting words into your mouth? You are making asinine comments about this woman's feelings and are only concerned with her feelings, so it's a perfectly legitimate prediction on my part. "I bet if..." implies that it is MY opinion of you, not putting words into your mouth. Got it? As I said before...telling someone that they are pretty is not an insult! If she was insulted by his comment, as I said, she was being over sensitive. Honestly, if a complete stranger offends you over such a trivial comment, you need to think twice about their intent before you decide to be rude. I would be polite because I do NOT know them personally and where they are coming from. He may have been extremely nervous and it came out wrong. Or he could have a really bad sense of humor. Also, she should have thought about the fact that he does not know her either and therefore could not possibly know what she would find to be insulting or not. Again with the jerk barging in on a meal...what are you some sort of under-evolved subspecies of human? Low animals freak out about being interrupted in a meal. Be above that, jeez. Again...if you know the person, sure fight fire with fire, but when a stranger comes up to you, you're polite because you just do not know what was meant, just as they do not know how you'll take it. It takes guts to walk up to someone you find to be attractive and compliment them, and he was punished for his courage.

personally and where i live, third wave (and remember that i clarified "third wave", not first or second) feminism is viewed as a fight for the equality of all people, period. considering that i attend an art university, id say we ("we" being both naive teenage students and experienced professors alike) have a fairly firm grip on what third wave feminism is - certainly a better understanding than you have if you think that "feminist" is a dirty word that suggests someone who believes in the domination of women over men. you could indeed equate it with egalitarianism, though i dont know why you would bother squabbling over labels if the values are the same - i especially dont know why you would bother considering that it is 100% off topic for our original debate. on that same note, id have to say that ive lost all interest in this dialogue. weve been going back and forth for days, and while ive tried to compromise in hopes of furthering the discussion by acknowledging that the original post leaves out a lot of information that would be crucial to properly discussing the situation (such as tone of voice and body language), and by acknowledging that youre right and that there are contexts in which such behaviour as the womans would be inappropriate, youve completely ignored the context in which i saw the situation (that through a combination of tone and body language, the man did indeed come off as insulting). i could essentially replace every one of your postings with the sentence "youre wrong and i think youre stupid" and pretty much your entire argument would remain intact. the final result is that we end up talking in circles, and feels to me like talking to a brick wall. its intellectually unsatisfying and i have zero desire to continue any further.

Hahaha Hahahahaha Ha... Ha That's my response [: Good day!

Portablecupid I completely agree with everything you said. Although we don't know all the details of the situation, it's obvious that she found his "compliment" insulting. Frankly, i would be offended if someone assumed I was eating a salad because body insecurities. His "compliment" isn't a complete compliment because he was also making assumptions about her own body image.

It's disturbing how many people in society think that women are here in this world for the sole reason to please men. Women are expected to learn to take "compliments" from men because others believe that females should be always at their service. Because, women, god forbid... should not answer in any other way other than to have an acceptant-submissive attitude towards what they are told. No. In many other cases what OP said would have been okay, but this woman is a COMPLETE STRANGER. He blatantly interrupted her meal and saw himself fit to be entitled to speak his mind about his assumptions about her life. I, for one, dislike being interrupted when I eat; social interaction is not always pleasant. It's especially annoying when someone interrupts your peaceful meal time to basically "hit on" you. I've only ever experienced that scenario with acquaintances, it would probably have been more obnoxious to have a complete stranger do this. It's good to remember that not everyone reacts the same to everything all the time. I saw this FML on my phone app and I just had to make an account to answer to this particular post. Needless to say I totally agree with user portablecupid. So many missed the point on this FML by the looks of most of the comments. I'm glad this user spoke up! c:

Either you're joking or misinformed, cheeks.

Just because she was eating a salad when OP talked to her doesn't mean that's the only thing she eats.

and bacon.

:S IMMA TELL YOU HAO TO MAEK THE BEST SALAD EVAR, SO LISTEN UP GOOD: Green leaf lettuce, feta, walnuts, and some kind of fruit (strawberries, apples, mandarin oranges). Sooo good, and no dressing. 8)

It sounded delicious until you introduced the fruits.

Yeah. What the hell. The only fruits i want in my salad is tomato and cucumber !

I put mandarins in my salad?

It sounded good to me until she said no dressing...

No! Snicker salad is the way to go. Snickers and apples mixed in with cool whip an pudding. Deliciousness =)

No, the fruits make it delicious. Just try it, loves.

Sounds good to me. I like spinach leaves, feta, walnuts, mandarins, and cranberries with a raspberry vinaigrette. Ohhh man...food ******.

Not that anyone cares, but after posting this comment, I got a nasty prego craving. I got my grandma to go get these ingredients and make a salad for me [:

what lead you to that conclusion? the op was simply giving a complement.

You must be hanging around the wrong people. I know plenty of vegetarians that are really sweet, good people.