Intimacy: Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little...

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 782

You deserved it 27 696

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Same thing different taste

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 130

You deserved it 1 477

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! - 01/02/2015 16:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 353

You deserved it 4 302

Talk sexy to me

By fed up/turned off - 02/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 565

You deserved it 6 798

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 818

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 913

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 536

You deserved it 12 157

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 091

You deserved it 7 768

hghrider123456 9

Monday 30 September 2013 1:55

He basically told you to go **** yourself....

norwegianboip 17

Monday 30 September 2013 1:54

Well.. It is the finale ..

Comments

rougeunicorn03 17

Monday 30 September 2013 3:24

Well he didn't have to be such a d bag about it

imaCONartist 15

Monday 30 September 2013 3:29

It's funny how, after 5 years of being just a regular show, people suddenly think it's the best damn shit ever. It's just everywhere. That being said, season finales are always important, ALWAYS. But it was really, really awful choice of words on his part.

CharlieM78 9

Monday 30 September 2013 3:58

Not a season finale it's a series finale

Waredo_Dyrge 11

Monday 30 September 2013 13:26

Actually, it's always been an amazing show.

imaCONartist 15

Monday 30 September 2013 23:44

Season finale or series finale, my point still stands :P Don't get me wrong, I like the show. But it's super hyped.

Bcfrmkc816 17

Monday 30 September 2013 3:40

I could understand if walking dead was on. But that lame show. He also needs to have a little more respect for ya. Good luck in your relationship.

BeautyBaby099 18

Monday 30 September 2013 3:40

Lol he's funny

trakaray001 4

Monday 30 September 2013 3:52

Well shit its breaking bad what did u expect

asnakelovinbabe 16

Monday 30 September 2013 4:10

Really people? I don't get why when a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman RIGHT NOW, he's a horrible person.... When many women notoriously turn down their men all of the time and think it's perfectly fine.

The_9th_Doctor 18

Monday 30 September 2013 4:10

break up with his ass now

kazrron 5

Monday 30 September 2013 4:17

^ agreed

anitriarose 5

Monday 30 September 2013 4:17

96 - I completely agree with you, but OP's boyfriend could've at least been nicer about it...

Xotoolyxo 16

Monday 30 September 2013 4:18

You should've waited to ask till after the show was over

NSN82 13

Monday 30 September 2013 6:35

Maybe she didn't know the finale was tonight. I absolutely hate that show, but my boyfriend loves it. That doesn't mean I have to remember when it comes on.