Intimacy: Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little...

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 782

You deserved it 27 696

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Same thing different taste

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 130

You deserved it 1 477

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! - 01/02/2015 16:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my Breaking Bad-obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks" during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 353

You deserved it 4 302

Talk sexy to me

By fed up/turned off - 02/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 565

You deserved it 6 798

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 818

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 913

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 536

You deserved it 12 157

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 091

You deserved it 7 768

hghrider123456 9

Monday 30 September 2013 1:55

He basically told you to go **** yourself....

norwegianboip 17

Monday 30 September 2013 1:54

Well.. It is the finale ..

Comments

imdabess 9

Monday 30 September 2013 5:35

it was super important. coulda been nicer but still. best show on tv doe.

WinterSanctity 21

Monday 30 September 2013 5:39

You're his girlfriend. You should know how much Breaking Bad is addicting. Why weren't you there watching it with him? My boyfriend got me thoroughly addicted to the show. We both know that neither of us would have done anything but watch the show, so we got pizza and watched the marathon all day. I agree, he didn't have to he so blantanly rude and disrespectful when saying no, but you also shouldn't have asked him to choose between you or the series finale to his favorite show. Even if he records it, he'd probably hear a bunch of spoilers from other people before he got a chance to watch it.

ao34501 5

Monday 30 September 2013 5:54

He turned you down for sex once and you say fyl because he wanted to enjoy a TV show's finale without having to worry about people spoiling it. I'm sure you turned him down before for some reason. It is just one time. Sure, he wasn't super nice about it, but you have the option to leave him. He could have skipped an anniversary dinner, cheated on you, or given you an std. Relax you can have sex another time.

NSN82 13

Monday 30 September 2013 6:31

She's not complaining about being turned down! She's complaining about the way she was turned her down. I'm sure this FML wouldn't even be here if he had said "Sorry babe. The series finale of Breaking Bad is on tonight and I really don't want to miss it. Maybe tomorrow?"

wiccaantje 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 0:12

Maybe it's the way they constantly talk to each other? It sounds jokishly. I talk way ruder when I'm joking with my boyfriend. I don't think he would have dared to use this language if they didn't use it before. I think she got pissed off at the no sex and couldn't take the joke because she was angry. She doesn't seem like a very conciderate person if she is trying to get him to come over on the day (and time) of his favorite show's (likely assumption) final episode.

Waredo_Dyrge 11

Monday 30 September 2013 5:56

While he could have been nicer about it you should have known better.

swedeNix 13

Monday 30 September 2013 6:04

Couchtuner has them all whenever u want for free

Guilty_Turtle 6

Monday 30 September 2013 6:08

Well all bad things must come to an end...

BrownBallSack 9

Monday 30 September 2013 6:12

Great finale :) Was nice way to end the sorry! He did the right thing to tell you he couldnt go but there are better ways to say it than the way he said it.

NSN82 13

Monday 30 September 2013 6:14

Just be glad the show is over. I'm sure you're just as sick of hearing about it as I am. Now your boyfriend will have more free time to do stuff with you.