Intimacy: Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy... - FML

By rileycrash - 20/05/2011 02:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 6 908

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Same thing different taste

By yup - 05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 205

You deserved it 57 249

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I sent my fuckbuddy a sexy message about what I wanted to do in bed with him next time we meet. He responded with, "oki doki". FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 469

By Username - 15/06/2011 01:17 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 388

You deserved it 15 738

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 912

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 962

You deserved it 40 648

It's the thought that counts

By come on man - 29/11/2014 17:03 - United States - Sunnyvale

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 502

You deserved it 7 444

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Spicy

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 676

You deserved it 6 641

By Rejection - 04/05/2010 07:33 - France

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 15 645

Talk sexy to me

By fed up/turned off - 02/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Spicy

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 563

You deserved it 6 798

Next

Top comments

hellohottie69 0

Friday 20 May 2011 8:51

maybe he didn't see your message

LolaD18 1

Friday 20 May 2011 8:52

Maybe drum, eBay and monaaaayyyy are all synonyms for something else? :D

Comments

st3lios89 0

Friday 20 May 2011 9:30

hahaha.... i dont know ur bf but he sounds to me that he's a Lad with a capital L!

Blueglasscup 18

Friday 20 May 2011 9:35

He's got his priorities straight!

barlessprison 16

Friday 20 May 2011 9:39

I'm way too entertained saying "makiiin' monaaaay" aloud to myself. It could have just been poor timing you know. You sent that sext just as he sent his text about monaaaay.

Livinia 11

Friday 20 May 2011 9:43

Reread his message and think dirty. Problem solved.

johnnyexpl0sion 0

Friday 20 May 2011 9:49

FBGM

abbasiathar 0

Friday 20 May 2011 9:49

df

abbasiathar 0

Friday 20 May 2011 9:59

this is 2nd/..

abbasiathar 0

Friday 20 May 2011 10:01

hi df what do u mean?

abbasiathar 0

Friday 20 May 2011 11:22

hi this is it

abbasiathar 0

Friday 20 May 2011 11:25

not sure

PeteyPablo12308 20

Friday 20 May 2011 10:08

Oh my... Now THAT is sexy.

helloello 2

Friday 20 May 2011 11:07

you'll never lose pussy chasing money. you can lose money chasing pussy though. don't member the exact quote or what movie it's from.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 335

You deserved it 4 235

Today, I've been waiting two months for eight eBay purchases to make it through my country's fucked up customs fiasco. I'm reduced to vicariously sharing in my husband's delivery of a litre of industrial vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 135

Today, my boyfriend has severe dog phobia, and a dog off its lead ran up to him in a car park. He panicked and tried to jump into the car, but the door hit it in the head and it started fitting and seizing. About three people called the police and the dog's owner broke our car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 274

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 833

You deserved it 4 900

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 417

You deserved it 3 520

Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 51