Miscellaneous: Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 096

You deserved it 10 268

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Same thing different taste

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 2 982

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 532

You deserved it 30 096

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 002

You deserved it 32 366

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 435

You deserved it 13 264

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 171

You deserved it 2 040

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 9 798

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 111

You deserved it 3 178

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 404

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 31 424

I'm so tired

By slapstick1982 - 30/05/2024 03:00 - United States - Port Washington

Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 267

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Top comments

karlcolt45 19

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:00

that's like when dudes sit on their balls. there are no winnings...except for the inanimate objects I suppose

XCrazyMofo2010X 17

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:03

Are they that big?

Comments

RustlingSoul 26

Sunday 19 January 2014 22:32

Well, that is sort of a compliment.

catella_fml 12

Monday 20 January 2014 0:16

How does that even happen...

CaptainSmith28 19

Monday 20 January 2014 1:21

How do you even?

magymofucka 9

Monday 20 January 2014 1:38

how the ****...?

rflurry94 6

Monday 20 January 2014 3:47

damn, how big are your boobs? D:

xxaerofox 4

Monday 20 January 2014 6:02

How does that even happen?

AnonThoughts 23

Monday 20 January 2014 6:51

I'm curious as to how you slam one Breast in a car door...I have large ones and I can't figure this out. Unless op wasn't wearing a bra and her breasts hang down to her stomach, I don't see how you can slam one in a car door.

username1012 8

Monday 20 January 2014 7:23

Did it deflate

classybender321 4

Monday 20 January 2014 7:51

plot twist OP is a guy

NodakN8V 25

Monday 20 January 2014 12:43

I'm baffled

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You deserved it 181

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 95

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stays away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling, "DNA! DNA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 444

You deserved it 4 140

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

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You deserved it 6 148

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

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You deserved it 3 679

Today, my friends and I were kicked out of a Red Robin after the manager told us that our server accused us of making "sexually suggestive gestures" towards her. The gesture in question was the circle game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 1 491

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 7 605