Miscellaneous: Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 096

You deserved it 10 268

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 2 982

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 532

You deserved it 30 096

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 002

You deserved it 32 366

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 435

You deserved it 13 264

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 171

You deserved it 2 040

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 9 798

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 111

You deserved it 3 178

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 403

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 31 424

I'm so tired

By slapstick1982 - 30/05/2024 03:00 - United States - Port Washington

Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 267

karlcolt45 19

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:00

that's like when dudes sit on their balls. there are no winnings...except for the inanimate objects I suppose

XCrazyMofo2010X 17

Saturday 18 January 2014 17:03

Are they that big?

Comments

nate1023 4

Sunday 19 January 2014 0:50

So i guees you could say you got a boob boo... anybody?... no?...okay...

jmann8811 15

Sunday 19 January 2014 1:10

Ouch!..

kittykawaii 1

Sunday 19 January 2014 1:19

How the **** did you manage that one?

Aweh_Olivia 13

Sunday 19 January 2014 1:36

*shutters* I could only imagine the pain :(

STORMER16 3

Sunday 19 January 2014 1:41

oh my god that's horrible when I read it I got a sharp pain on my boob

akross72 4

Sunday 19 January 2014 1:44

Time for a breasts reduction?

dreamweaver1227 11

Sunday 19 January 2014 2:35

How does one achieve such stupidity?

MarounM 5

Sunday 19 January 2014 4:21

Maybe she should just clam her ****.

harp 9

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:55

Or Octerpussy.....

SilverJane 5

Sunday 19 January 2014 4:22

how does that even happen?

hannamajor 6

Sunday 19 January 2014 4:26

#saggy ????

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Cars ADHD Transportation Ironic Vacation Mental health Work Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Annoying Covid Health Kids Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Art Photography Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 367

You deserved it 29 693

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said, "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 701

You deserved it 94 049

The Top

Today, it’s my 21st birthday. The people I invited over spent most of the time talking about their LARP group, which I am not a part of, and so could not participate, talked over what I wanted to watch, and then it ended with an intervention by them for me because they were upset that I was upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 272

Today, and every single time someone I actually feel comfortable with comes into my life, I end up fucking everything up. Whenever they don't reply, I won't for a while too, just to see if they'll check on me but they never do. Am I really that shitty? Is it so bad that I want to feel wanted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 673

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 340

You deserved it 7 416

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 901

You deserved it 5 346

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 938

You deserved it 2 809

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a Portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my Portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID, and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 046

You deserved it 1 952

Same thing different taste

Roadworthy

I'm so tired

Top comments

Comments