Animals: Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving...

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 663

You deserved it 3 416

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Same thing different taste

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 61 972

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/08/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 742

You deserved it 2 902

By Username - 13/05/2011 08:13

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 857

You deserved it 6 735

By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 13 363

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 183

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 513

You deserved it 17 453

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 896

You deserved it 3 639

By me. - 14/03/2012 15:19 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 159

You deserved it 3 858

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 202

By birdmagnet - 25/04/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 180

You deserved it 12 625

crazedcabbages 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:15

im pretty sure ur life is not messed up

aaa125 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 19:14

just clean it up and get over it

Comments

maverick1752 16

Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:18

how do you know it was accidental?

PhishloverA 14

Thursday 6 September 2012 3:35

How does it take you that long to wash your car? I could understand if you were also detailing and waxing it

PhishloverA 14

Tuesday 27 November 2012 6:38

Rain and birds always know when people wash their cars, so they target newly washed cars

Ilikepie82479 20

Sunday 31 August 2014 6:07

"Accidentally"

wrenavery90 12

Sunday 28 August 2022 4:03

I'm pretty sure you'll be ok.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 484

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 188

The Top

Today, I mistook a straw hat for a stack of pancakes. In case you hadn't figured it out, I forgot my glasses at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 324

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 681

You deserved it 124 330

Today, I spent my first night with my English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice, "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 851

You deserved it 8 002

Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 103

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 3 069

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 068

You deserved it 4 106

Same thing different taste

Clever

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