Work: Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone...

By Anonymous - 30/09/2010 02:57 - United States

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 578

You deserved it 26 251

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Same thing different taste

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 309

You deserved it 37 456

By oh, shit...... - 02/02/2016 20:27 - Denmark - Bagsv?rd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 1 989

By Anonymous - 12/07/2012 16:04 - United States - Millers Tavern

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 359

You deserved it 32 136

By Can't Win - 09/09/2012 15:01 - United States - Palatine

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 097

You deserved it 6 564

Beep Beep Who's Got the Keys to the Jeep

By Loser - 12/08/2017 03:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I lost my keys while at the supermarket. I franticly back-tracked through the store, asking everyone I saw along the way. They eventually showed up, right where I left them... in my unattended car, the engine still running. There was an announcement made over the PA system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 3 398

Rush hour

By lateforwork - 02/09/2019 14:00

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 123

You deserved it 2 544

By Veronica Rambo - 24/10/2018 17:30

Today, it was my first day going to work with new hours where I'm in the office alone for an hour. I managed to lock myself out without my jacket, my phone, and my keys. It was raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 431

You deserved it 714

Trustworthy

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I showed up to an important meeting 20 minutes late, claiming I couldn't find my keys. They were in my hand the whole time, and I realized it just as I reached for the doorknob. Everyone saw me pause mid-step, staring at my hand in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 437

Run!

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 10:37 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 701

You deserved it 54 666

OnlyAvailableID 28

Thursday 30 September 2010 9:32

OP is a nut. She has a rubber butt. Whenever she turns around it goes "putt putt"!

MissGrinch 4

Thursday 30 September 2010 9:30

Just say "oops" and give a "I'm sowwy" expression. Wait, that only works for adorable animals. Darn.

Comments

Illyssa_fml 4

Thursday 30 September 2010 12:30

Hmm..don't know if "nut" would be the word

Igor_g5 0

Thursday 30 September 2010 13:22

Well?

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 30 September 2010 13:55

What kind of nut? Almond? Cashew? Hazelnut?

TheWicked 4

Thursday 30 September 2010 14:04

YDI for being a nut.

kombucha_fml 8

Thursday 30 September 2010 22:06

you ARE a nut.

abbieapril 0

Friday 1 October 2010 6:48

hahaha I'm laughing cuz of that last sentence "they think I'm a nut" that just sounds so odd

waywick 0

Friday 1 October 2010 15:22

you're not a nut, you're just very dumb...

LukeNukem_fml 3

Friday 1 October 2010 22:20

take it as a compliment. being known as the "nut" is all the fun.

Lils123 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 11:41

Fyl for using the term "Im a nut" >_> Im sorry that just sounds so lame to me P:

Demented_Dentist 1

Friday 8 October 2010 16:09

More like F your coworkers lives, since you slipped them something causing them hallucinate that people are nuts.

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Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

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Today, I woke up early to prepare for my graduation party. I'd invited the entire graduating class of 2011, and tons of people confirmed that they were going to come. Two hours after the time I'd told everyone to show up, I'm still the only one here. FML

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Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

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Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 820

You deserved it 594

Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 910

You deserved it 4 261

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 647

You deserved it 3 216