Health: Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 20:53 - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 431

You deserved it 61 488

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Same thing different taste

By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/08/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 294

You deserved it 20 774

By crazyvulva9216 - 27/01/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 829

You deserved it 68 936

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 311

You deserved it 27 718

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

By Steve - 24/02/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 678

You deserved it 36 219

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 50 525

By comfort_ - 27/03/2015 03:28 - United States - Dalton

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 553

You deserved it 10 190

Receptacle

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 02:01

Today, I felt sick at work and tried to run to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth, but saw a garbage can and removed my hand to let it loose. I forgot to remove my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 241

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 983

You deserved it 4 835

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 554

You deserved it 70 622

Next

Top comments

JGrevious 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:03

charming. absouluty charming

Freeze_fml 16

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:05

How do you forget to wash your hands after taking a massive dump? Sick.

Comments

squirrelboyzz 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 17:42

you deserved it for being disgusting and having no sense of hygiene.

skeetNyoEYE 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 17:51

All the nasty people who don't wash your hand after using the bathroom for any reason, you're still eating your own shit when you touch your food. The number one reason to wash one's hands is to prevent e. coli, guess where it comes from? SHIT!

iazy9 14

Thursday 11 March 2010 18:33

"massive dump" LOL FTW HAHA XD

asteroth 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 21:40

Did you rake your fingers through your own shit? If not, then get over it. Your body can take a few under-the-nail germs.

Astraea 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 22:15

How on earth could someone forgot to wash their hands after taking a dump?? Eww. You disgust me. And i was enjoying my beloved ice cream. ****!!

ishankedyourcat 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 22:28

idk about #20 but I use like 30 sheets of toilet paper , make a huge ball , and clean myself. not just one thin sheet . that's nasty

Zoo66 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 22:48

agree either if u take a shit on your hands. or play with your shit. shudnt be to bad. but you shoulda washed your hands

jennbugg 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 23:28

Thats Nice Like People Need To Know What You Do Wih your Hands After You "Take A Massive Dump"

doptnet 0

Friday 12 March 2010 3:23

did u wipe with ur hands not toilet paper??? as long as u didn't get poop on ur hands don't worry about it lol but u shouldn't bite ur nails anyway there's always bacteria under them

trumpeteer 0

Friday 12 March 2010 19:38

are you the IT guy from a couple of posts above you?

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The Top

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 179

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I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 10 377

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I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 1 683

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I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 135

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I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 130