Money: Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law...

By a tad whipped - 28/04/2013 20:44 - Australia

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 224

You deserved it 7 244

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/05/2015 04:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 721

You deserved it 13 098

Tactical nuke

By Anonymous - 18/07/2015 00:54 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting out, "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 672

You deserved it 42 599

By unfortunategeek - 23/12/2010 16:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 497

You deserved it 7 614

By jacks_smirking_revenge - 06/03/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 681

You deserved it 52 384

Venmo me

By Anonymous - 03/09/2020 14:01

Today, my mother-in-law called to find out how the first week of school went for the kids. She spent most of the call complaining about her husband. I'd like to send her a bill for her trying to use me as a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 218

By thanksmom - 01/05/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 074

You deserved it 4 459

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 15:24 - United States - Coshocton

Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 001

You deserved it 1 931

Narcissistic parents FTW

By KaYLa_LoUiSe - 08/08/2020 08:03

Today, I told my mom I wasn't doing very good mentally and I was looking for some support. She decided to remind me of all of the things I still haven't paid her back for. I'm now an unpaid loan, not her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 232

By :/ - 03/12/2012 01:57 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 112

You deserved it 3 288

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 821

You deserved it 3 128

toaster012 17

Monday 29 April 2013 1:22

Wow. She's very cruel.

Keevarou 17

Monday 29 April 2013 1:23

Looks like she is the one who deep throated a cactus, she's really stingy. But you should try and take it as high as you can and see If you can get the money back somehow, good luck OP and sorry to hear about how unlucky you are with family

Comments

Crofty92 17

Monday 29 April 2013 1:28

And your wife is just fine with her l talking to you like that?

NagainaFier 16

Monday 29 April 2013 4:49

Im going to HOPE that OP's SO (significant other) is not okay with that, but on the other hand, you never know, since we clearly got an inside look to how the SO was raised.

Crofty92 17

Monday 29 April 2013 11:26

You can only imagine pretty badly based on evidence of her mother.

xcam1995 6

Monday 29 April 2013 1:28

This is the part where u show up at ur house w/ a cactus. Knock on the door and when she answers, say "Ur turn".

rg350dx 29

Monday 29 April 2013 2:07

"u show up to ur house"? And then she answers the door? I don't even.. What?

Wizardo 33

Monday 29 April 2013 1:28

Pretend your Tony Soprano and send in a huge guy to collect the cash...

LaLince 40

Monday 29 April 2013 7:20

His Tony Soprano?

theycallmekitty 13

Monday 29 April 2013 1:29

She will probably need you for something some day and you can tell her the same thing.

dj041392 9

Monday 29 April 2013 1:31

You deserve it don't lend your money to a ****

NagainaFier 16

Monday 29 April 2013 4:51

Im guessing OP was vaguely hoping that maybe if he helped his mother in law out, it would help the relationship between the two of them. Or maybe OP is just one of those genuinely nice people who will help someone in need, even if they are a miserably old hag.

CrissyyyS2 22

Monday 29 April 2013 1:34

This is where you hire Liam Neeson.

zombieslayer83 19

Monday 29 April 2013 1:58

I prefer Chuck Norris. You don't **** with Chuck!

CrissyyyS2 22

Monday 29 April 2013 2:02

But... How are you going to get a hold of Chuck Norris?

SystemofaBlink41 27

Monday 29 April 2013 5:14

I have aquired a very particular set of skills... Skills that can make me shove a cactus down your throat.

chuckcloninger 12

Monday 29 April 2013 1:36

Next time your husband wants to get "friendly" tell him your throats too sore from deep throating cactus to help him out any.

rawr_ily96 24

Monday 29 April 2013 3:19

OP is a man. Chances are he is straight. The majority of men are.

adammeyer 4

Monday 29 April 2013 18:00

Lmfao, what a dumbass

allliseee 8

Monday 29 April 2013 1:36

well she is creative with words, do you have everything on paper.. the loan and when she would repay you?

Jharrist89 12

Monday 29 April 2013 1:46

Most people never think of this ^^

HaraAishi 8

Monday 29 April 2013 4:47

Usually for most people it isn't a problem but if I had a mother-in-law like that, I would put everything on paper.

martinfml 8

Monday 29 April 2013 1:39

Wow, what an attitude. How much did you lend her anyway? Oh, and you shouldn't have waited for a whole year to pass.

chuckcloninger 12

Monday 29 April 2013 1:40

She didn't become this person overnight. Why would you ever loan money to a person who is abusive to you? And since the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree I best her son, your husband, is a real winner himself. My advice would be to run from all of it. It is only going to get worse.