Intimacy: Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he...

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 439

You deserved it 5 477

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By diesel444 - 23/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 835

You deserved it 23 197

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 248

You deserved it 486

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 129

You deserved it 72 621

By tbree - 19/09/2014 22:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 051

You deserved it 4 471

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 051

You deserved it 5 828

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 552

You deserved it 10 546

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 217

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 3 339

Dad priorities

By hellishome - 29/09/2019 00:01

Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 203

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 061

You deserved it 3 747

Jakil_Spectre 0

Monday 22 June 2009 20:04

Ewwww, that had to be awkward. Im glad my parents aren't that open. FYL

ThinkingPunkLove 0

Monday 22 June 2009 20:26

That's disgusting and he can get his own ass up for that, I mean really i think he can buy his own damn condoms...

Comments

youaresofucked 0

Monday 22 June 2009 21:55

daddy's getting some .......

milgalo 0

Monday 22 June 2009 22:29

Hahaha that's cruel. But I'd love to see it.

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 June 2009 22:13

You could always throw the box at him and say something like, "I poked holes in all but one of them. Good luck in finding out which one."

Gingerly 0

Monday 22 June 2009 22:36

At least he's practicing safe sex.

Dunkel16 0

Monday 22 June 2009 22:39

He's trying to set a good example for you

lovell_says_hey 0

Monday 22 June 2009 23:07

oh, the horror... lmao. ps number 24 is my new best friend [=

I_am_stupid_also 6

Monday 22 June 2009 23:37

Tell him no thanks, you'd like a little brother.

twist_of_fame93 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 0:11

FYL, thats totally something ur parents shouldnt say to u. something is wrong with your dad.

dollywilson 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 0:24

that's why you never ask

philosopher 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 0:49

Well... Uh... He can't tell you right then and there? You have to be in the store?

Fantasy_Bella 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 1:07

Hahha that is extremley awkward but maybe next time you willl remember and just not ask him if he wants anything.. haha

Keywords

Break-ups Love Technology Geek Work Animals Cute Cats Facebook Grandparents Social Media Family Miscellaneous Relatable Music Scams Food Money Relationship advice Awkward Birthday Photography School Health Acting Parents Lonely Growing old Games Weird

The Top

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 080

You deserved it 39 606

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 996

You deserved it 92 883

The Top

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 631

You deserved it 711

Today, my mom told me I was worthless and could not do anything by myself. Determined to prove her wrong I attempted to install the AC that I had neglected to put in for the past month. While placing it on the window it fell through landing on her prized roses and breaking into pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 685

You deserved it 16 474

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 344

You deserved it 5 240

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 852

You deserved it 1 805

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 962

You deserved it 18 117

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 641

You deserved it 3 515

Same thing different taste

Not a cheating!

Running commentary

Dad priorities

Top comments

Comments