Intimacy: Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he...

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 439

You deserved it 5 477

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Same thing different taste

By diesel444 - 23/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 835

You deserved it 23 197

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 248

You deserved it 486

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 129

You deserved it 72 621

By tbree - 19/09/2014 22:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 051

You deserved it 4 471

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 051

You deserved it 5 828

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 552

You deserved it 10 546

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 217

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 3 339

Dad priorities

By hellishome - 29/09/2019 00:01

Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 203

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 061

You deserved it 3 747

Jakil_Spectre 0

Monday 22 June 2009 20:04

Ewwww, that had to be awkward. Im glad my parents aren't that open. FYL

ThinkingPunkLove 0

Monday 22 June 2009 20:26

That's disgusting and he can get his own ass up for that, I mean really i think he can buy his own damn condoms...

Comments

TheAmazing_fml 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 10:19

thts sexy.

headfirst4halos 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 20:20

Oh wow...you're dad apparently wasn't thinking with his right "head."

anarkistsdream 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 20:54

As a son, I wouldn't have minded that... But, since you are female, I believe I would be sort of upset and VERY embarrassed.

shewasalmost18 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 20:54

your house is getting steamy tonight. awww yeah

Taolan 23

Wednesday 24 June 2009 2:23

It's your fault. Guess why? You said 'anything'.

kacie13 1

Wednesday 24 June 2009 3:40

that's disturbing xD.

unrememorable 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 5:54

You should have gotten the smallest size there was. Just to spite him.

FaIlCaKe4You 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 21:20

o.0 I agree with #71. That would be funny. Lol

AkihiroHattori5 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 23:56

I love how some parents dont realize there's a line! This is yet another shining example why parents should be seen, not heard.

Shutup_iloveyou 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 0:50

ew, that's pretty sick!

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I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 129

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I agree, your life sucks 11 550

You deserved it 30 913

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I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 171

Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my mouth blue. I then asked the make-up artist why they didn’t do more : "You’re so pale it looks like you’re already dead". FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 125

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I agree, your life sucks 44 095

You deserved it 18 934

Today, I was walking down the train station steps, in no rush, as my train wasn't due to depart for another 10 minutes. I managed to trip down the last 5 steps and break my ankle. Oh, and I got to watch my train drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 537

You deserved it 348

Today, I realized I have rejected at least five marriage offers and about the same number of women who've wanted to have my children. I have never been into kids or marriage, but all my girlfriends and some FWBs turn into marriage and kid crazy wannabe housewives after a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 811

Same thing different taste

Not a cheating!

Running commentary

Dad priorities

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