Intimacy: Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he...

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 449

You deserved it 5 478

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Same thing different taste

By diesel444 - 23/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 839

You deserved it 23 197

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 490

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 135

You deserved it 72 634

By tbree - 19/09/2014 22:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 056

You deserved it 4 473

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 058

You deserved it 5 828

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 152

You deserved it 3 340

Dad priorities

By hellishome - 29/09/2019 00:01

Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 337

You deserved it 204

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 064

You deserved it 3 749

Jakil_Spectre 0

Monday 22 June 2009 20:04

Ewwww, that had to be awkward. Im glad my parents aren't that open. FYL

ThinkingPunkLove 0

Monday 22 June 2009 20:26

That's disgusting and he can get his own ass up for that, I mean really i think he can buy his own damn condoms...

Comments

TheAmazing_fml 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 10:19

thts sexy.

headfirst4halos 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 20:20

Oh wow...you're dad apparently wasn't thinking with his right "head."

anarkistsdream 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 20:54

As a son, I wouldn't have minded that... But, since you are female, I believe I would be sort of upset and VERY embarrassed.

shewasalmost18 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 20:54

your house is getting steamy tonight. awww yeah

Taolan 23

Wednesday 24 June 2009 2:23

It's your fault. Guess why? You said 'anything'.

kacie13 1

Wednesday 24 June 2009 3:40

that's disturbing xD.

unrememorable 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 5:54

You should have gotten the smallest size there was. Just to spite him.

FaIlCaKe4You 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 21:20

o.0 I agree with #71. That would be funny. Lol

AkihiroHattori5 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 23:56

I love how some parents dont realize there's a line! This is yet another shining example why parents should be seen, not heard.

Shutup_iloveyou 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 0:50

ew, that's pretty sick!

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

The Top

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 529

You deserved it 6 130

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 041

You deserved it 3 008

Today, my pharmacy was unable to fill my prescription for the only drug that works for an excruciating condition that I have. Only one company makes the drug and it's backordered for three months. I have one week left and then I’ll be forced into withdrawal. Without the drug, my life will be a living hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 150

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 815

You deserved it 6 349

Today, I read an FML about a garter toss. It made me remember my own garter toss. None of the guys at the wedding wanted to catch it, and visibly cringed at the idea of touching it. Ten years later, it's all been downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 205

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 7 978

Same thing different taste

Not a cheating!

Running commentary

Dad priorities

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