Love: Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our...

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By pistonsunshine - 10/10/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 836

You deserved it 3 351

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 00:01

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 132

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 079

You deserved it 4 128

By Jebus - 23/01/2009 13:31 - Canada

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 812

You deserved it 2 434

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 642

You deserved it 3 905

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

By Jonathan Park - 05/03/2020 09:06 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 178

By sandyhome - 11/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 783

You deserved it 6 277

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 195

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 211

You deserved it 6 594

By zed - 09/09/2012 17:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 934

You deserved it 3 112

By waterspike - 29/01/2010 13:18 - France

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 802

You deserved it 9 982

RPGod 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:04

Well, at least you now know that she's a psycho bitch, and you don't have too continue to relationship.

KingOfTheWastes 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:10

I'm Marshall. Damn right you'll never be as good as me.

Comments

n3rdzgotskillz 29

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:33

Mathers? Are you, by any chance, a white rapper?

n3rdzgotskillz 29

Monday 12 October 2009 0:17

Yes, I definitely copied you; considering I posted mine before you did. ;D

Shuinoshina 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:49

Yep. Dump that shit with utter quickness.

Person1233 12

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:54

Maybe she was talking about the movie " We are Marshall," XP

robv565 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:01

I'm pretty sure she's referencing the character "Marshall" from How I Met Your Mother

Jethro_fml 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:07

There's also a Marshall in In Plain Sight. Jet

Candace7 19

Saturday 31 January 2015 14:38

Who can blame her though? Marshall is freaking amazing.

flinkpamingo 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:05

Run hard, run fast!

couny343 1

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:14

i properly loled at this one

tigerartist 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:18

I was wondering the same thing

shabail 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:24

You found Lilypad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

possesed0ne 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:25

lol Marshall matthers? win.

TC1_fml 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 0:27

STOP! HAMMER TIME!!!

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The Top

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 133

Today, I discovered my husband and kids wait until I’m out of the house before doing fun activities like water fights, board games, Xbox sessions, football, and the like. Apparently I’m such a buzzkill and moody sore loser, they can only have fun without me around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 066

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 140

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 699

You deserved it 14 667

Today, I was chatting with an American woman I met on a dating app. All was going well until she told me the names of her two kids. She had seriously named them "Trump" and "Maga." FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 136

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 11 832

Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 2 329

Today, a guy I've been dating for a year asked me to meet him for dinner and a couple of drinks. After dinner, he confessed that he's been seeing another woman and has decided he wants to seek a relationship with her. He then told me how sex with me is great, but he didn't want me to continue being "the other woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 252

Same thing different taste

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Wait, what?

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

Great date night

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