Health: Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself...

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 695

You deserved it 4 836

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Same thing different taste

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 3 657

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 260

You deserved it 4 968

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 046

You deserved it 31 384

By bonnmo - 11/11/2018 11:30 - United States

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 995

You deserved it 297

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 449

You deserved it 9 410

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 48 868

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

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You deserved it 3 570

Freakout

By Anonymous - 20/03/2015 16:56 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 403

You deserved it 3 657

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

Always carry around a pencil with you

By Anonymous - 22/03/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while at work, I took one of the biggest dumps I've taken in my life. The turd was so big, I took a pencil and chopped it into small pieces because I was afraid it would clog up the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 241

izzybd 20

Saturday 6 April 2013 2:29

You should probably go to a doctor

raesos91 26

Saturday 6 April 2013 2:30

aww, what did you name it?

Comments

shieldthestral 5

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:39

You and your entire family, by law now have to go and get checked for worms! Have fun :)

squirrelicious 7

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:40

You need to collect it and take it to the doctor. Do not wait!

polobeastjkc 5

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:46

Bro u could have tapeworms

Llamacod 11

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:58

I dont think OP can "get that shit checked out" as I'm sure OP has flushed it down into the sewer or septic tank

User57777 13

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:59

I'm just waiting for DocBastard to comment because this is just an interesting tale.

noobsatin 19

Saturday 6 April 2013 5:13

gross. you have worms. spicy food kills them. just some advice.

seriouscat 11

Saturday 6 April 2013 5:14

This actually scares me... I mean just imagine taking a shit and seeing a worm in it ._.

ViviMage 39

Saturday 6 April 2013 5:15

If it was white and very small, its a pinworm. Ask for an O and P test from your doctor. And clean under your nails really well!

KellyPeterson92 10

Saturday 6 April 2013 5:18

If it looked like an earthworm, it wasn't a tapeworm. Tapeworms shed proglottids (egg packets) in feces, and they are a whitish color. It's most likely a roundworm since they come out whole. Hopefully not a raccoon roundworm, since they can migrate to your brain and eyes and kill you :o