Customers and Work: Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi driver. The pride...

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 14:52 - United States

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 648

You deserved it 2 458

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Same thing different taste

Getting the point across

By Anonymous - 05/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 134

Naptime

By Celeste - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 993

You deserved it 3 324

Hard knock life

By rockytrolley - 08/10/2014 09:01 - Cyprus

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce, and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting another taxi from his place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 495

You deserved it 3 693

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 00:34 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 214

You deserved it 4 240

Accept this gift

By for shite's sake - 17/01/2015 22:24 - United Kingdom - Mirfield

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 677

You deserved it 3 731

By Username - 27/01/2011 17:40 - Romania

Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 5 707

By unhappy - 07/06/2015 18:23 - United States - San Anselmo

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 010

You deserved it 3 961

By Anonymous - 16/07/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 599

You deserved it 9 130

By stevenr579 - 23/01/2013 23:33 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 936

You deserved it 7 586

By proteinboy - 16/11/2009 03:00 - United States

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 721

You deserved it 30 475

misspulkadot24 17

Friday 3 August 2012 18:50

I think it would be cool to taxi around people from all over and hear their stories.

Prolux_fml 23

Friday 3 August 2012 18:50

Well, how'd it go?

Comments

gregorygreg87 12

Friday 3 August 2012 23:29

I just started driving a taxi too. We are now unlicensed therapists who only get to listen.

Redneck17 8

Friday 3 August 2012 23:52

Well, at least you didn't get robbed!

pattycakes666 5

Saturday 4 August 2012 0:35

lol ;D my dads a taxi driver.. he hears so pretty weird stuff o.O

laurenlovesjb 20

Saturday 4 August 2012 0:49

Hey OP, it's all part of the job:) Haha I'll be your next person, and you'll listen about how I love Justin Bieber the whole ride:)

soad2014 7

Saturday 4 August 2012 18:10

Please I'm begging you!!! No!!! I'd rather hear someone say Lulu is a good album than hear what "great" accomplishments Justine Bieber has done!

outoftown 26

Saturday 4 August 2012 1:38

Congratulations, OP. Hope Colonoscopy Man gave you a great tip (money, I mean; not "get one when you turn 50").

SimplyEerb 3

Saturday 4 August 2012 1:54

Too bad you didn't become a limousine driver. You'd be able to put a glass between you and the passenger.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 4 August 2012 2:10

well its better than some stories that probably have been told before...

linkinpark98 23

Saturday 4 August 2012 2:17

Better than getting a customer who is sharpening their knife in the backseat, and saying they know where you live.

Locoluis 15

Saturday 4 August 2012 7:26

VOLANTE O MALETA

locz07 1

Saturday 4 August 2012 4:18

Ha ha ha

taylordanielle98 1

Saturday 4 August 2012 6:17

Hahah  that's so funny cause my mom had that done today

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Mental health Work Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 3 489

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 7 492

Can you work out who dunnit?

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 155

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 563

You deserved it 19 665

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a poly relationship. He said he wants to sleep with other people, but I can't in case I get feelings for them. Thats not what poly means, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 162

Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 196