Miscellaneous: Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our...

By mark - 05/03/2012 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 217

You deserved it 29 164

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mighthavepaidfortwodates - 28/03/2019 22:00

Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 343

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 563

You deserved it 243

By BrokeAsAJoke - 29/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 299

You deserved it 64 280

By Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 977

You deserved it 9 414

By ashleyevans - 04/04/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 002

You deserved it 192 014

By Brian - 04/05/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 547

You deserved it 64 573

By Iron11 - 14/06/2016 20:52

Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 762

You deserved it 4 408

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 16/03/2017 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 274

You deserved it 1 700

By unloved - 17/04/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 739

You deserved it 2 749

taerts 9

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:11

I feel extremely sad for the robbed man :(

bosskidz20 2

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:11

Dafuq

Comments

Petunia888 13

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:22

That spurt of kleptomania would've freaked me out, too. Dude, Be careful; your wallet could be next!

I_heart_sex 1

Tuesday 6 March 2012 17:59

Kleptomaniac is just the word. You seem smart

obri98 10

Wednesday 5 December 2012 4:00

Hm...this FML seems like the opportune time to show off my ability to use a thesaurus in a way to make me look more intelligent... Naw jkjk I love u Big words ftw :3

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:23

If she does that at a nice restaurant, she'd probably hold up a coffee shop, a la 'Pulp Fiction' style...Love ya Hunny Bunny!

pjkrit 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:23

You took your girlfriend out? Did you use a sniper?

MonsterCommenter 4

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:23

He shoulda kept his money at home in a piggy bank. -.-

RealChinese 7

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:24

Like you've never stolen anything in your life.

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:00

Well it seems to me that OP, like most law abiding people, has morals and a sense of right and wrong. So no, I'm pretty sure he hasn't stole anything before.

fadingaway 17

Tuesday 6 March 2012 10:32

I'm an ex-shoplifter but I would never steal someone's wallet like that. My excuse (to myself, mostly) was that these were huge companies who wouldn't be affected by a missing necklace or chocolate bar. It's completely different with a person though. There could be really important things in his wallet - money he really needs or something sentimental. Not to mention his driver's licence, bank cards and ID - things that would take a lot of time and money to reapply for. That's just wrong, OP. Grow some balls. And I suggest you watch your back. Don't leave anything valuable around your girlfriend.

RealChinese 7

Tuesday 6 March 2012 11:37

most law abiding people = sheep that develops their morals with religion/government laws

downtime 12

Tuesday 6 March 2012 12:28

200, You trolling ****. Following a "first, do no harm" ideology is not being a "sheep". You may not be able to understand the basics of what morality is about, but most of us are aware that ******* over people you don't know like that is pathetic. By the way, if you steal my wallet I'll castrate you. See, we don't all align our moral code with the law. Dipshit.