Miscellaneous: Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our...

By mark - 05/03/2012 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 217

You deserved it 29 164

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Same thing different taste

By mighthavepaidfortwodates - 28/03/2019 22:00

Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 343

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 563

You deserved it 243

By BrokeAsAJoke - 29/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 299

You deserved it 64 280

By Otherguy - 18/11/2008 07:36 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 977

You deserved it 9 414

By ashleyevans - 04/04/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 002

You deserved it 192 014

By Brian - 04/05/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 547

You deserved it 64 573

By Iron11 - 14/06/2016 20:52

Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 762

You deserved it 4 408

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 16/03/2017 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 274

You deserved it 1 700

By unloved - 17/04/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 739

You deserved it 2 749

taerts 9

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:11

I feel extremely sad for the robbed man :(

bosskidz20 2

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:11

Dafuq

Comments

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:03

What doesn't make sense to me is why your "gonads went AWOL". Could someone shed some light on this situation for me?

MargieDrury 1

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:06

Probably when you have balls you have courage but since he didn't have enough courage his balls left

desireev 17

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:32

Whenever I hear guys saying that their 'gonads' or their 'balls' went AWOL, that meant they were turned on or sexually excited.. So that is what I gathered from it. That he was turned on by his girlfriend doing such a thing..

bacon12 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:41

AWOL means "Away With Out Leave" It does not mean a man is turned on. Maybe next time you could google it instead of making stupid answers like that :/

desireev 17

Tuesday 6 March 2012 5:27

It wasn't a stupid answer. Think about it for a second before you continue being a jackass! What happens when a man 'gets off' or ejaculates? He releases sperm. Where does the sperm come from? His 'balls' or testicles. What does that mean? That means that his testicles are empty. Which is why 'AWOL' is similar and slightly relevant to the saying 'My balls went AWOL'.. And my resources for that are full-grown men. I'm pretty sure that they didn't say things like that, since they hit puberty and were old enough to understand the matter, and NOT know what the hell they were talking about! Although, I am a woman and I'm not equipped to know what 'My gonads went AWOL' really means and feels like. I can only go off of what my adult, male friends say...

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Tuesday 6 March 2012 7:59

Why the **** did I get thumbed down for asking a question? It wasn't even a dumb one. ******* trolls.

MargieDrury 1

Tuesday 6 March 2012 12:37

People are dicks I hate it to.

bacon12 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 16:32

AWOL is a term used in the military you bimbo it has nothing to do with sex nor is it a sexual term whos the jackass now bitch? Plus your friends are probably either mentally challenged or just perverts

blueeyedwolf 10

Tuesday 6 March 2012 20:37

Yeah, sorry desireev, you are WRONG. Now you made yourself look stupid. Better to keep quiet and make people wonder if you are stupid than to speak (in your case, type) and remove all doubt.

KaeSAL 11

Wednesday 7 March 2012 5:23

It isn't as much to do with the fact that you're a woman as it does with your inability to determine the meaning of two combined common phrases by considering the context they were used in.

monkiki62 5

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:10

Well the guy shouldn't have left his wallet on the table. I mean we are in a recession. And just talk to her about it. Not something to trip balls over op. Lol

ssnowywinter 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:54

It's stupid to leave your wallet anywhere, even in the best of times. A recession has nothing to do with it.

WordSmyth 2

Wednesday 7 March 2012 20:54

The alibi of the century: "Why did you kill this man defendant?" "Well...you were in a recession and- "Say no more! You're free to go!"

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:18

Why didn't you say something when you saw it? I would've forced her to give it back before the guy came back from the restroom. Also, if she's willing to do that to a complete stranger, what is she willing to take from you? I would be careful of her...

RoseCrystal 17

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:20

Your girlfriend is a thieving bitch and you are a coward. Karma has your numbers.

tehdarkness 21

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:22

She's terrible but he deserves it or leavin his wallet. Hope you said something to her or are planning to end it based on a difference of values!

Jjjessee 1

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:29

Shit happens but You are a dick for telling us you got no balls

emba_fml 13

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:26

wow. your girlfriend sounds like a horrible person. ydi for having a horrible person for a girlfriend and for being too much of a little bitch to call her out on it

MargieDrury 1

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:34

Not to be a random ass creeper but your pic shows your cleavage big time.lol and tour pretty

gracehi 31

Tuesday 6 March 2012 3:30

DUMP HER NOW!!!! I knorr from personal experience that if she's shameless enough to steal in front of you, she's shameless enough to steal FROM you. You're next,OP. Dodge that thieving bullet while you still can.