Intimacy: Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss...

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 648

You deserved it 2 341

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Same thing different taste

By Dhagiik - 24/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 183

You deserved it 1 145

By Sleeper_C3ll - 04/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 119

You deserved it 2 878

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 640

You deserved it 289

Wanker

By Sandman2015 - 29/01/2016 18:36 - United States - American Fork

Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 366

You deserved it 1 928

Skill issue

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 695

You deserved it 1 914

Promoted!

By Worst Way To Get Promoted - 25/09/2019 16:00

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 163

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 257

You deserved it 7 487

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 614

You deserved it 4 741

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 6 030

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 763

You deserved it 885

MolesterStallone 13

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:08

Sounds like he was doing his own performance assessment!

Icejza_DaChilla 7

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:09

*sniff sniff* What's that smell..? It smells like blackmail to me!

Comments

martin_martian7 11

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:15

Who does that at work??!

alychick 5

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:30

Actually lots of people do it. Especially where I work >.

Rocky007 15

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:31

Everyone!!

esines 9

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:51

OP's boss apparently. OP you need to use your head and blackmail your boss, that way you never get the shaft at work. He'd have to be nuts to piss you off after receiving this load of information. Phallus...

djgoreo 12

Wednesday 22 August 2012 2:13

46 I agree that blackmail isn't gonna work but I love your humor sire, good work.

Legendoflaw 4

Wednesday 22 August 2012 4:11

Agreed.. Too many little kids on here trying to sound intelligent.

Justy101 23

Wednesday 22 August 2012 5:25

50 - I think you missed the point of 46's comment.

Grimmerie 31

Wednesday 22 August 2012 6:09

100, go be ageist somewhere else.

TurtleSmile 14

Wednesday 22 August 2012 7:49

Definitely not me working at Macdonalds when I was 15, that's for sure.

BatemanFML 0

Wednesday 22 August 2012 7:50

34- you don't happen to work at McDonald's, do you?

esines 9

Wednesday 22 August 2012 8:36

Thank you 66 and guy before him it was a joke don't take it so seriously. Oh and here's another joke. Before OP came for the assessment from his boss, his boss came. Hey I never said it was gonna be a good joke

traedaria 14

Tuesday 22 January 2013 23:14

It's a joke not a dick, don't take it so hard :p

dromaan 2

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:15

Blackmail his ass till you get a raise!

Shrike 23

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:18

A) What kind of a stupid asshole are you to suggest blackmailing someone? B) He has no proof to blackmail the boss with.

FMLKitten 15

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:53

24- What kind of a stupid asshole are you to think that 14 WASN'T kidding?

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Wednesday 22 August 2012 4:55

I don't think 24 is the asshole in question here...

joeystar95 4

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:16

I say YDI because you should have knocked

TeslaFreak 2

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:23

Public restroom?

DomDomxoxo 16

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:24

At work? Which might be a public place? Seriously?

fylx100 19

Wednesday 22 August 2012 0:25

I hate when people say "well you should have blah blah blah" because more than half the people don't even do what they say. I'm sure you're one of them that said he should have knocked but yet, you don't knock either. But let's give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you do knock before entering a restroom. You're telling me that you've never forgotten to knock not even one time when you had to take a major piss?