Kids: Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and...

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 23:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 010

You deserved it 5 516

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By Katie Howard - 29/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, the car shop called me and told me an 8 year-old boy stole my car and wrecked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 81

By What the fuck, son? - 11/05/2013 16:21 - Netherlands - Amerongen

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 7 845

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 221

You deserved it 2 384

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 3 855

Overreaction

By anonymous - 02/06/2013 05:20 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 722

You deserved it 15 862

Dad jokes

By thefuck - 30/06/2013 22:08 - Ireland - Ballyjamesduff

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 939

You deserved it 3 673

By ishouldhidethekeys - 04/11/2009 08:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 964

You deserved it 4 748

By Anonymous - 02/07/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 859

You deserved it 3 575

By cl3v3l4nd5t34m3r - 04/06/2012 20:34 - United States - Geneva

Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 887

You deserved it 4 494

By egged - 01/10/2009 06:43 - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 2 262

drippingfaucet 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:16

smart kid

ugh_a_lug 7

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:18

he could lift a pumpkin onto your car?

Comments

Bikrbum 6

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:20

No Trick or Treating for that kid!

sloppy3301 3

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:50

yeah his prob like " why didn't I get treats from u bitch !"

the8888 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:26

ydi for molesting him an having him get revenge

Selena_is_back 7

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:27

hitting a kid doesn't get you anywhere... probably to jail.

yuggi1 11

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:29

Grab the kid and drive him straight to an orphanage. You are welcome! ;)

Selena_is_back 7

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:30

I sure hope that was sarcasm...

yuggi1 11

Sunday 31 October 2010 2:46

...sure you can! OP can lie to the orphanage staff into admitting his evil seed. Then kill his wife and himself so the kid would be a legal orphan. - Just a method.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Sunday 31 October 2010 4:01

Actually, few of the kids in orphanages, back when they were still called that, had deceased parents. Most of the parents just couldn't afford to raise them, or the kids were born out of wedlock and adopted out, so the mom wouldn't have to bear the stigma.