Love: Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up...

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 817

You deserved it 7 154

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/09/2013 07:15 - United States - Petrolia

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 993

You deserved it 3 413

By awkward - 26/09/2016 21:31 - United States - Oakland

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 016

You deserved it 1 372

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

By Scoudrel - 26/02/2021 17:01

Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 6 339

By unloved - 17/04/2012 14:54 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 2 748

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 001

You deserved it 14 086

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 387

You deserved it 4 320

You IDIOT

By A.L.Woody - 11/08/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 794

You deserved it 113 091

By mynameisarmpit - 15/11/2010 06:48

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 721

You deserved it 4 670

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 242

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 004

You deserved it 5 368

Arcterion 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 1:33

Dump her ass. Clearly she does not care about you.

UpYourself 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 1:33

Can anybody say......threesome

Comments

XxCoolPersonxX 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 6:34

dump that *****!

FoundManyLemons 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 6:48

Not actually your girlfriend, huh?

Peppermint111 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 6:48

I agree with #821

doof_fisch 2

Wednesday 30 September 2009 7:14

You should have had a clue when she ordered her hotdog take-out.

CJGannon 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 7:19

3some?

FmyF_inglife 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 7:36

http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=19204

TwistedMind93 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 7:40

dude u should join dem n do yo thing

Diabro 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 7:58

Suggest a threesome. Haha, just kidding. Demand one.

asilex 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 8:06

It's funny how all the guys are like "YEAH, 3SOME"... But when it actually happens to them they get all jealous and offended...

Rx_man1 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 8:16

Op your stupid for taking that. I mean why wouldn't u say something if ur gf is being asked out in your face? Idiot

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Weekend Parents Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 93

Today, my boyfriend texted me a video of him having sex with a girlfriend he was screwing before we met. He thought it would turn me on; instead I am completely repulsed, and it will probably will haunt me for the remainder of our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 239

The Top

Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 221

You deserved it 3 169

Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 852

You deserved it 845

Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 313

You deserved it 1 332

Today, I found out my mom was a swinger when I opened a closet and saw a water bottle saying something with "Swinger Club" on it, with three bags beside it with all kinds of shit in it. She's also doing pole dancing "as a sport" and wanted to have one installed in our living room. My parents divorced just a couple of months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 161

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 878

You deserved it 14 035

Today, I have to defend my bachelor thesis, which took me 10 months to complete. Three weeks ago, a new technology was released that renders my entire work obsolete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 471

You deserved it 287

Same thing different taste

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

Pleased to meet you

You IDIOT

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