Animals: Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left...

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 17 427

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Same thing different taste

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 725

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 265

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 3 838

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 285

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 252

You deserved it 3 580

By goldenpuppy - 19/05/2016 20:54 - United States - Somerville

Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 146

You deserved it 1 083

By swirkishly - 24/11/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 992

You deserved it 10 012

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 5 396

Scratch that

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 07:59 - Germany

Today, I got a painful scratch on my nose. Nasty kitty? Nope. I never imagined a dried booger stuck in my handkerchief could be this hard and this sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 313

sushi_samurai 3

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:05

Warning: lame joke below. That mouse has his eye on you...

nancem 7

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:02

Evidently fear is not a factor for you!

Comments

DFlit1 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:10

It's all ur fault for having a cat

Travis1001 15

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:11

I think that's the mouse version of martyrdom :P

rexgar2000 10

Wednesday 16 November 2011 16:07

is that your G string? lol sorry I know I'm lame.

wilsontws 18

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:14

Thought it was something else...

J3R3MYY 14

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:15

Sure it wasnt a rat?

J3R3MYY 14

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:15

Sure it wasnt a rat?

mandadarling 10

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:16

That is so appalling..

Bunnehs 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:16

Meh, you'd be forced to eat it on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

lovelife_1284 3

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:17

Why the hell did you squeeze it?!?!

AlejandraaxD 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 23:52

Refer back to commenter #8.

nc21690 19

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:26

cats are great huh?

melimeli628 10

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:28

Oh my god your cat killed Mickey!!

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