Health: Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal...

By shanxi - 23/05/2012 18:47 - United States

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 675

You deserved it 2 511

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Same thing different taste

By humanchewtoy - 07/07/2018 20:30

Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML

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You deserved it 498

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 138

By someone something - 09/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was finally able to come home after 4 months in a hospital recovering from brain surgery and physical therapy. While taking a walk around the neighborhood, my new neighbor's Rottweiler ran after me. I tripped while running, got bit, and went back to the hospital for stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 180

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 356

Bad boy

By nipped - 16/09/2009 13:24 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 990

You deserved it 88 463

By coloris - 03/08/2019 00:01

Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 134

By hmb - 16/09/2010 18:50 - United States

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 078

You deserved it 2 919

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 593

You deserved it 4 651

By FAIL - 08/09/2009 05:29 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 832

You deserved it 7 616

By estallidos - 23/01/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 251

You deserved it 2 464

alstbv12 13

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:09

I swear my dogs aim for my balls when they jump...I think it's retribution for having their balls chopped off.

perdix 29

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:10

You shouldn't have trained it to fetch balls.

Comments

deathtothepix 26

Wednesday 23 May 2012 23:29

If he was a male dog and you've had him fixed, I would think that would be him having his payback.

Objectofdespair 1

Wednesday 23 May 2012 23:37

I fell for u

Awsumuzzie 12

Wednesday 23 May 2012 23:50

It's cute that you found your love over the internet.

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 23 May 2012 23:46

Fail

likeAwesome 3

Wednesday 23 May 2012 23:46

What a dick!

NailQueen2 7

Wednesday 23 May 2012 23:55

Sounds painful

nstinson 4

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:06

You had my vote at "scrotal surgery"

StzaCrack666 18

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:29

i had this done a month ago. my advice is to smoke weed for pain

GothicAngel17 24

Thursday 24 May 2012 6:21

Oh yes, just encourage him to destroy his lungs instead of taking prescribed painkillers that will probably actually work better against pain than pot. Great idea!