Intimacy: Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was...

By SG - 24/03/2012 12:14 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 426

You deserved it 37 460

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Same thing different taste

Shattered

By ParkerRommel - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 7 135

The pits

By BFF4L - 12/02/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 346

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 349

You deserved it 2 828

By Reliena - 21/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 565

You deserved it 29 191

Caturday treat

By Leah Magers - 30/07/2022 12:00

Today, I was about to climb on top of my husband for some fun time, when I stuck my hand in a giant pile of cat poop on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 273

By CutieBooty - 22/02/2011 21:02 - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 391

You deserved it 35 772

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 5 496

Hot and heavy

By k…… - 10/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 117

By stanDman - 21/01/2009 20:06 - Canada

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 086

You deserved it 10 961

Tanned pits

By huulo - 16/11/2010 10:07

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 484

You deserved it 28 086

calvo_07 13

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:29

You nasty

DrNuggetcase 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:54

(^_^)/ to ( ._.)

Comments

snowy365 9

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:42

I would just like to point out that there is (was) an equal amount of votes for both sides.

Cartera 10

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:51

That's icky.

efrainelboricua 12

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:51

Man that stinks

DrNuggetcase 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:54

(^_^)/ to ( ._.)

hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

Sunday 25 March 2012 14:29

epic win.

ea49610 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:55

Maybe he was just putting some deo for b.o

aleishaa_jadee 13

Sunday 25 March 2012 18:51

No shit sherlock, work that one out all on your own?

PurpleLightsaber 4

Thursday 20 September 2012 2:31

You don't say?

ifoundalaska 11

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:56

Well that's kind of nice of him to put it on for you though :-)

kuges 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:29

At least he didn't go say u stink, and go 2 sleep

derkster 6

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:58

Do helps the Bo :)

TrancyPants 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:58

Not sure if you really stink.. Or if he's trolling.

jaredofmo 22

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:10

Seriously, your husband is awesome.

Zangetsu67 5

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:20

At least he didn't fabreese your ******

Dajucy1 7

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:40

I do believe it's spelled *Fabreze

Birdie_Sage 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:50

No, it's Febreze!

SLEinTN 7

Sunday 25 March 2012 1:58

That had me rolling. Thanks for the laugh!

Bigboned38 0

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:44

Probably needs to

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Holidays Miscellaneous Family Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Kids

The Top

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 4 298

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 897

You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 223

You deserved it 4 281

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 525

Today, after a very harsh argument from my mother about her not seeing her grandchild enough, I decided to vent out my rage in a text to my friend. It wasn't until after I sent the message, that yes, I sent that message to my mom FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 199

You deserved it 7 520

Today, I got a diaper rash from a pad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 736

You deserved it 1 053

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 601

You deserved it 2 291

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 695

You deserved it 6 251