Intimacy: Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was...

By SG - 24/03/2012 12:14 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 425

You deserved it 37 459

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Same thing different taste

Shattered

By ParkerRommel - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 7 135

The pits

By BFF4L - 12/02/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 344

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 349

You deserved it 2 827

By Reliena - 21/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 564

You deserved it 29 190

Caturday treat

By Leah Magers - 30/07/2022 12:00

Today, I was about to climb on top of my husband for some fun time, when I stuck my hand in a giant pile of cat poop on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 273

By CutieBooty - 22/02/2011 21:02 - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 390

You deserved it 35 772

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 5 496

Hot and heavy

By k…… - 10/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 117

By stanDman - 21/01/2009 20:06 - Canada

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 086

You deserved it 10 960

Tanned pits

By huulo - 16/11/2010 10:07

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 483

You deserved it 28 086

calvo_07 13

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:29

You nasty

DrNuggetcase 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:54

(^_^)/ to ( ._.)

Comments

snowy365 9

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:42

I would just like to point out that there is (was) an equal amount of votes for both sides.

Cartera 10

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:51

That's icky.

efrainelboricua 12

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:51

Man that stinks

DrNuggetcase 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:54

(^_^)/ to ( ._.)

hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

Sunday 25 March 2012 14:29

epic win.

ea49610 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:55

Maybe he was just putting some deo for b.o

aleishaa_jadee 13

Sunday 25 March 2012 18:51

No shit sherlock, work that one out all on your own?

PurpleLightsaber 4

Thursday 20 September 2012 2:31

You don't say?

ifoundalaska 11

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:56

Well that's kind of nice of him to put it on for you though :-)

kuges 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:29

At least he didn't go say u stink, and go 2 sleep

derkster 6

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:58

Do helps the Bo :)

TrancyPants 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:58

Not sure if you really stink.. Or if he's trolling.

jaredofmo 22

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:10

Seriously, your husband is awesome.

Zangetsu67 5

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:20

At least he didn't fabreese your ******

Dajucy1 7

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:40

I do believe it's spelled *Fabreze

Birdie_Sage 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:50

No, it's Febreze!

SLEinTN 7

Sunday 25 March 2012 1:58

That had me rolling. Thanks for the laugh!

Bigboned38 0

Sunday 25 March 2012 3:44

Probably needs to

Keywords

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The Top

Today, two weeks after giving my daughter-in-law a severe scolding for forcing my son to do chores and babysit the kids on his days off, I went to visit them and found out that they'd changed the locks, so my key no longer works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 1 711

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I checked my Facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption, "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 155

You deserved it 41 031

The Top

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 801

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 26 356

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 760

You deserved it 83 129

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 161

Today, after my grandad died suddenly last week, we were cleaning out his house and found a full on sex dungeon, with pictures of him and nana going back 50 years. My siblings are all chicken shits, so I have to deal with that room by myself. Rubber gloves and a therapist required please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 812

Today, I popped a zit and I went to put my acne medicine on it. It's in a clear bottle with a blue cap, just like the nearby nailpolish remover. I grabbed the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 14 578