Intimacy: Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was...

By SG - 24/03/2012 12:14 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 426

You deserved it 37 460

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Same thing different taste

Shattered

By ParkerRommel - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 7 135

The pits

By BFF4L - 12/02/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 346

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 349

You deserved it 2 828

By Reliena - 21/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 565

You deserved it 29 191

Caturday treat

By Leah Magers - 30/07/2022 12:00

Today, I was about to climb on top of my husband for some fun time, when I stuck my hand in a giant pile of cat poop on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 273

By CutieBooty - 22/02/2011 21:02 - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 391

You deserved it 35 772

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 5 496

Hot and heavy

By k…… - 10/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 117

By stanDman - 21/01/2009 20:06 - Canada

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 086

You deserved it 10 961

Tanned pits

By huulo - 16/11/2010 10:07

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 484

You deserved it 28 086

calvo_07 13

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:29

You nasty

DrNuggetcase 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 19:54

(^_^)/ to ( ._.)

Comments

heavyworshiper 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:23

Wow this is terrible. Even if it was kinda bad I wouldn't say anything. That's a huge way for you to get a penile fracture lol.

merryhappy1887 20

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:24

Ydi for having stinky armpits yuck

Birdie_Sage 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:57

The only time she'll ever get hot with her husband is when she's out, fresh from the shower.

br0ccoli 14

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:31

Not unless they both smell. "stinky pussy, smell my sack"

ezelisko 1

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:31

not gonna lie... that's pretty creative and funny.

tara805 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:35

He's a nice guy(:

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:51

Didn't you know? Deodorant is the new lube...

kuges 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:31

Wierdo

athos1237 4

Saturday 24 March 2012 20:58

Damn you must of smelled bad for him to do that. Yikes!

bluewailer 4

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:01

Way to be sexy. At least he didn't raise your leg.

spacemanspiff78 7

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:03

He could just tell you that you smell like a bag of onions.

br0ccoli 14

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:34

Omgee your pic! Lolololol thats so messed up that I shouldn't be laughing

lolipop1234_fml 7

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:04

You obviously needed it then.

Luck77 6

Saturday 24 March 2012 21:04

It's sexy and you know it. ;)

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Cheating Suspicious Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 220

You deserved it 5 961

Today, I went to work 8:30 am. Human stayed home. Got home at 5pm. Human is working on his music at home. It is 7:11 pm and Human is still on his computer working on the same song, on replay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 336

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 520

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 819

You deserved it 31 856

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said, "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 4 621

Today, my friend beat me at a video game. He got smug, so I made an "I fucked your mom" style joke. Yeah, kina forgot for a minute that his mom died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 273

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 729

You deserved it 45 418

He's got a very... interesting technique.

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 86