Intimacy: Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first...

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 421

You deserved it 4 625

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Same thing different taste

By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 587

You deserved it 2 365

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 457

Marvel Comics

By Anonymous - 14/07/2011 16:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 824

You deserved it 15 917

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 841

You deserved it 5 087

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 23:02 - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 962

You deserved it 5 657

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 12 201

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 613

You deserved it 91 019

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 001

You deserved it 4 243

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 678

You deserved it 9 736

alexphyllis 5

Tuesday 19 June 2012 8:51

Better make sure he washes his hands first from now on, especially if they're up his ass.

SerendipityRose 26

Tuesday 19 June 2012 9:32

If you guys go as far as having sex, when he enters, you should say, "Huh, feels like my pinky finger."

Comments

AppallingRogue 2

Tuesday 19 June 2012 19:09

Is no one gonna quote American pie on this one? Guess it's up to me, "this one time, at band camp...."

jmedalene 2

Tuesday 19 June 2012 19:14

Run!!

mosquito19 14

Tuesday 19 June 2012 19:16

does he always have dirty brown fingernails?

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Tuesday 19 June 2012 19:22

Hope you don't catch anything from ass to pussy contact.

DDalton 14

Wednesday 20 June 2012 4:13

ATM is next!

hatesfate 6

Tuesday 19 June 2012 19:28

142 - sorry I call ignorance when I see it... And joking about experimenting "too much" is pretty ignorant when you were so adamant about it being homophobes negging you for posting about a lesbian couple. Unless you're one of those lesbian feminists that only care about lesbians and womens rights and forgo gay men and their rights as well....

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 19 June 2012 19:35

Smooth operator.

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 19 June 2012 19:38

What was he fingering?

hatesfate 6

Tuesday 19 June 2012 20:19

Because "experimenting too much" implies that stimulating ones prostate (a common guy thing but much more common gay male thing) is wrong.. So yes, hypocritical ignorant statement... And it's funny you think you're "aloud" (it's allowed btw) to respond how you wish yet you tried to tell me I am not allowed to respond how I wish, hypocritical and ignorant yet again...