Intimacy: Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right... - FML

By anonymous - 19/02/2011 13:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 065

You deserved it 7 397

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Same thing different taste

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 780

You deserved it 5 152

Don't mind me

By evelynn - 20/05/2010 06:25 - France

Spicy

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 151

You deserved it 8 181

By Abyssal - 04/04/2011 18:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 188

You deserved it 11 924

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 296

By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 876

Starfish

By WhyBother - 21/02/2021 05:02

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 332

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 933

You deserved it 12 633

Poor performance

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 03:00

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 323

By Anonymous - 14/01/2013 17:58 - United States - Arlington

Spicy

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 012

You deserved it 10 029

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 498

You deserved it 5 019

Next

Top comments

missjessicaaaa 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 19:52

now I'll never think of the word "abracadabra" the same way

grrrkgrrrl 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 19:56

At least he did not shout avada kadavra.

Comments

rawrsofi 5

Saturday 19 February 2011 22:13

Geez woman rent a sense of humor. You just had amazing sex and had an ******.

vodkaliciouz 4

Saturday 19 February 2011 22:18

she just wants to brag

zltzlt 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 22:21

Oh my god!!! He did?!?!? How on earth will you ever get over this? Sorry to hear that! Your life is well and truly f*cked, forever and ever until you die......

alliede88 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 22:42

yup

gusgus36 5

Saturday 19 February 2011 22:48

maybe because sometimes it is like performing a complicated magic trick to actually get a girl off? not really a big deal that he said "abracadabra"...you had an ******...so don't complain :p lol

sammyxduh 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 23:22

LOL He's a keeper.

karina02 9

Saturday 19 February 2011 23:49

..... And? Why is this an FML? Atleast you were having amazing sex!

Frickmetinajenks 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:18

Your boyfriend is awesome. You should gain a sense of humor and appriciate what he did for you.

pancake_mixx 9

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:38

I guess 'abracadabra' turns some people on.

Hawkcody1958 1

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:00

I do not get it ,

damnsparky 3

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:40

Awesome

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The Top

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 372

You deserved it 1 985

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 92

The Top

Today, I’ve been faking an Italian accent and said my name was Alessandro to impress a girl I was seeing. My plan was going well, until on a date at the mall, I heard, “Travis, what are you doing? Why are you talking like that?” It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 2 153

Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 424

You deserved it 25 983

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 474

You deserved it 4 680

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 643

You deserved it 2 057

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 207

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 006

You deserved it 2 614