Miscellaneous: Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop... - FML

By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 028

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Same thing different taste

By CH - 07/12/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 694

You deserved it 41 146

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 17 354

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 909

You deserved it 60 289

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 71 619

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 35 990

Holy smokes

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 18:01

Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 1 215

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 1 050

By david - 28/04/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 154

You deserved it 111 359

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 876

Next

Top comments

RyeBreadBoy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:08

why would you eat candy and smoke at the same time? doesn't the taste of the cigarette kind of overpower the taste of the candy?

Sessee 4

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

YDI for smoking.

Comments

crumsnatcha 4

Monday 4 May 2009 2:06

@48: You don't have very many friends, do you?

Shellydevil20 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:07

That's so gross u licked a cigarette. Don't smoke!

kingalpaca 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:08

100% your fault..... but i probably woulda done the same thing. also anyone pleaseeeee check out my blog. i just started it kinda like fml go on it an post. http://whatadb.blogspot.com/

mcsnelly 5

Monday 4 May 2009 2:09

# 43-hmm....generalizing everyone and calling them "elitists ***** and should die" ....now THAT sounds pretty elitist to me.

StrawberryPiez_ 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:14

what were you smoking? mustv been pretty strong..

the_effed_life 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:23

The lollipop? Why the hell would you have both of those in your hands anyways? The two don't mix. YDI for being a smoker, too.

NoBounceNoPlay 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:24

eh, shit happens.

Demon_Squirtle 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:24

Didn't we already have a FML just like this but with fries instead? =/

kirby229 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:29

ok so for people who say "it's your choice to smoke it's no one else's business." 1st part right, 2nd part wrong. Sure it's your choice but guess what? All of us non-smokers are breathing in your 2nd hand smoke which, by the way, can cause lung cancer. So if a lot of people were like you and decided to smoke wherever they damn well pleased because it's your choice, then all of us who choose not to smoke, pollute our lungs, rot our teeth, smell disgusting, and waste our money would be at risk for lung cancer and there wouldn't be a damn thing we could do about it, cause those of you who have the nerve to smoke in public places refuse to put them out.

Hoozen 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 6:34

I'm pretty sure if I smoke a cig right now you wherever you are will not inhale any of the 2nd hand smoke dipshit

LilKonvicted 0

Monday 4 May 2009 2:37

I like lollipops And you sure it wasnt green you were smokin? =P

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 60 097

You deserved it 7 572

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 485

You deserved it 38 931

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 259

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 271

You deserved it 11 517

Today, I found out why my coworkers never invite me anywhere. Apparently, I "made a face" when one of them used the N-word, and it makes them uncomfortable to be around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 852

You deserved it 2 124

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 989

You deserved it 12 295

Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 338

You deserved it 4 960

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttlecock that hit me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 727

You deserved it 21 458