Miscellaneous: Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm....

By joe - 08/08/2010 07:14 - United States

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 804

You deserved it 8 346

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Wino - 05/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 787

You deserved it 34 548

Classic

By Anonymous - 11/03/2021 16:30 - United States - Enterprise

Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 559

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 942

Keeping up appearances

By waterpistolriot - 23/10/2020 11:02 - Austria

Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 855

Hmmm, nutritious!

By Anonymous - 27/03/2020 14:00

Today, I'm in the coronavirus-vulnerable group, so I asked my friend to go shopping for me because I'm in need of food and toilet paper. They came back with a bag of icing sugar, even though food and toilet paper were available in the shop. Forty minutes later, the shelves were stripped bare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 11/03/2019 22:00

Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 601

You deserved it 248

By anonymous - 11/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 038

You deserved it 13 533

By hungry - 13/10/2013 05:23 - United States

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 819

You deserved it 26 624

By Anonymous - 09/08/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 367

You deserved it 54 313

Checked out

By Anonymous - 27/09/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, I went to Walmart to purchase a pregnancy test. I chose my checkout line carefully, to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. After choosing one, I realized it was 4 o'clock on the dot. Shift change. My mom's best friend took over the shift just as I reached the checkout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 428

null_fml 11

Sunday 8 August 2010 16:16

YDI for comparing your life to that of a bunch of strangers, for caring about the difference, and for measuring your life (and theirs) based on one grocery checkout. (On another note, I'd take the pizza over the tequila any day)

maskedman 9

Sunday 8 August 2010 16:13

with all that toilet it looks like you might be having an awesome party yourself. a porcelain pool party.

Comments

nobodyxyouxknow 0

Monday 9 August 2010 9:46

not only were u going home to eat by urself. u were going to eat pizza you knew would give you the ***** hence the t.p

Djlatino 0

Monday 9 August 2010 12:42

why not join em

Veritas411 0

Monday 9 August 2010 14:08

Think of it this way... in a few weeks you'll probably see a post like this, "Today, (3 weeks ago), my besties and I hit up the Foodmax @ 1130 for more Margaritas for our party, I bought the Tequila, Joany got the salt, and Peggy got the limes.... We got SO Wasted, now Peggy says her @$$ is still sore, I just failed a preg Test, and we're pretty sure Joan has the herps. Why didn't we just get frozen Pizza and TP like the guy in line behind us, instead of servicing the whole LaCrosse Team, ? FOurL."

M0llie 0

Monday 9 August 2010 14:36

Get friends and a life pall.

Anthony716 0

Monday 9 August 2010 20:04

aww thats sad but ya shoulda went up to them and be like i got the pizza lol but sorry dude

AdventSeph 7

Tuesday 10 August 2010 8:11

You are one envious bloke.

corticalchaos 0

Friday 13 August 2010 21:47

YDI for not talking to the bitches

IStabBabies 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 16:49

Wow, you must have had a crazy night.

Anemited 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 19:59

HAHAHAHA i would've walked up and said "hey girls im going home to eat pizza, why dont you come with me, and i got toilet paper if someone needs to take a crap.

Djosef_fml 0

Monday 15 November 2010 17:02

You stated the obvious in a way which was full of awsome.

ninjasrtheshiz 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 9:51

Dude. I'm really sorry. I know what that is like. I'm in high school. Everyone knows me but no one is really tight with me. I don't get invited to parties or anything. I only get to chill with girls occasionally. But it's all good man. Work up the nerve to talk to some girls, it'll be all good.