Intimacy: Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents...

By Headphones - 21/07/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 643

You deserved it 5 707

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 389

You deserved it 3 801

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 798

You deserved it 9 699

By sleepless - 20/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 048

You deserved it 2 903

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 4 395

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 249

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 4 984

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 102

You deserved it 3 955

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 1 420

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 405

You deserved it 43 184

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 704

You deserved it 68 953

aback 4

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:46

Next time, applaud and yell "Encore!"

TheCookieCrumb 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:43

Just in time for the big finale!

Comments

Daaniellee1234 8

Wednesday 22 July 2009 2:08

Uhmmm. Ew.

GatorBites 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 2:12

Let's see, parents that love each other or parents that hate each other, which would I rather be exposed?

GongButterfly 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:01

Whether they hate or love each other, I wouldn't want to hear how I was brought into the world hahaha

c3ns0r3dn4m3 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 2:37

well at least they did yell "time for round 2!"

OoFoxLoveroO 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 2:53

Ugh. Yeah all that seperates me from my parents having sex is a paper thin wall.

xcchick 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:11

eww that IS disturbing. they could atleast do it when you're not home.

aznboytellem 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:19

why'd u put on your headphones? you coulda learned something!

cuterthanuthink 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:29

i lol'd cuz there were 69 comments on here XD

z0mb130v3rl0rd 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:29

OMG you're my new hero.

plexico 3

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:29

So, do you think you dad satisfied your mom? See yesterday's FML.

dmdrummer23 2

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:32

cool, what episode?

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Kids Annoying Covid Health Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Videos Photography Art Sex Intimacy Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 405

You deserved it 4 549

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 578

The Top

Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 269

You deserved it 1 575

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 637

You deserved it 3 855

Today, after spending Christmas alone because my bus home got cancelled due to Covid, I found that I have to spend the New Year alone and potentially homeless because my flight home got cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 174

Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 409

You deserved it 3 417

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 193

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 798

You deserved it 47 836

Same thing different taste

Nooooooo!

My ears! My ears!

Noise complaint

Thin walls

Top comments

Comments