Work: Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her...

By EMT_Koulianos - 25/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 131

You deserved it 4 091

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Same thing different taste

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 582

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 552

You deserved it 3 485

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 673

You deserved it 34 833

Timewaster

By HMM - 28/07/2010 11:42 - United States

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 3 004

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 369

You deserved it 24 018

By ouch... - 03/03/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 174

You deserved it 3 412

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 31 237

By mrWrong - 25/03/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 966

You deserved it 12 116

By EpicFailAtItsFinest - 13/04/2009 02:49 - United States

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 511

You deserved it 19 525

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 811

You deserved it 12 748

heyyou1203 0

Monday 25 May 2009 22:05

:-( sorry dude, you were doing a great deed and you got injured. I'd still give you a pat on the back though.

lowfiwhiteguy 0

Monday 25 May 2009 22:19

AICD's have been around for a long time. they work the same as the pads, sending massive wattage across your heart and will cause a convulsion in the limbs. go google it ffs.

Comments

emt_phalcon 0

Monday 25 May 2009 22:59

As a person who works full time on an Ambulance, who has done CPR, Defibed people, Transported PT with broken Pacemakers, and misfiring Defibrillators, let me comment.... Wow... I'm amazed at all the IDIOTS commenting on this one. 1) Internal Defibrillator exist. 2) You do CPR even when a person is defibed. Read up on the American Heart and Stroke "Advanced Cardiac Life Support" text, unless signs of life return (Eg Pulse, Spontaneous Breathing) 3) Massive Wattage -> this is wrong, as its measured in Joules. Most ID put out 30-80J of energy, a Lifepak 12, puts out up to 360J of energy (Thats the machine that use to defib people) 4) ID do cause people body to "jump". I transported a guy who was thrown to the ground by his when it malfunctioned. 5) Straddle a body?!?!? Never do that according to the American/Canadian Heart and Stroke foundation.... I would be surprised to see that happen anywhere. 5) I'm borderline YDI on this one though.... one should know where arms are at all times.... IV Access and such.... General rule... never put a patient body part where they can hit you in bad places... Please people.... do homework before commenting....

TalkinSmack 6

Wednesday 25 May 2011 4:10

THANK YOU! I'm a paramedic and reading all these comms make me shutter to think that these people could be doing these things to "save someone"

theeNSP 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 23:22

Hahaha you done been told!!!??????

emt_phalcon 0

Monday 25 May 2009 23:04

People body do "Jump" when shocked, not like the movies or in TV, but they will jump enough to hit you in the nutts... Ive seen hands jump 1ft +.... if your kneeling beside someone doing CPR, it is totally possible to get smacked.

iKaite 0

Monday 25 May 2009 23:04

Internal Defibrilator does not exist, and you would not be performing CPR on someone in V-Fib. False. I cant believe they accepted this.

emt_phalcon 0

Monday 25 May 2009 23:08

You do CPR on V-Fib and pulseless V-Tach and you shock both. http://www.christem.org/didactics/InternMedGuide/Intern%20Med%20Guide_files/image001.gif

Indiana_fml 4

Monday 25 May 2009 23:12

What's the English word for the German "filmreif"? Cause that is what this FML definitely is!

lmmmr 0

Monday 25 May 2009 23:16

#39- There isn't really a word for it. But I guess movie-worthy?

TOmedic 0

Monday 25 May 2009 23:34

#33 Thank you for being just about the only one in this thread who knows what they're talking about. Agreed with everything said there. #35 you're an idiot. I'm also a paramedic so i'll through in my 2cents. The OP somewhat deserved that for having her hand under down there...though things are obviously hectic when they're in cardiac arrest

sirjohnly 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 0:01

So what if her hands smacked him in the dick? It wouldn't have been with enough force to cause any major pain, and there would've been too much adrenaline running through him to even notice.