By scaredshitless - 07/08/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 369
You deserved it 65 407
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Top comments

IreadFMLnaked 0

This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.

159 4
lolzRaptor 1

If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.

79 6

Comments

kaykayhyde 0

I call fake. Too many dramatic details.

7 3
spillproof 0

you might want to see someone about that

0 1
Kyran17 0

Thats ****** sad son damn embarassment

1 3
icertainlysuck 0

"A Serious Shit"?

1 2
Soup_fml 0

I really don't understand why so many people's immediate reaction to stories like this is to call the person a "pussy". What is the point of throwing petty insults around? Channeling Cartman isn't exactly a great way to gain anyone's respect. So yeah, the guy overreacted to a phobia that most people wouldn't understand, and he probably ought to do something to get over that fear. Big deal. Are people ever going to reach a point where hostility and contempt aren't dealt quite so freely?

7 3
hazri 0

If he is not a pussy, then how far down the scale before we can rightfully call someone a pussy

2 3
Soup_fml 0

Actually, my comment was more a remark about the general tone of the comments on this site. Whether or not I happen to personally agree or sympathize with somebody, it still irritates me when people respond by launching into character attacks and insults with no thought-out point.

2 0
Soup_fml 0

That was supposed to be a reply to #39. I don't know why it showed up here.

1 2
Joborikos 0

its weird sometimes... let it go lol

0 1
generalsmith2 0

you sir are also indeed... a pussy

0 4
Nolanor 0

Clearly you've never been on the internets before. It's a way of life how people respond here, get used to it. It's hilarious

0 2
ZuRG_fml 7

Even if it's completely true and it was indeed recorded, why does the recording still exist? It sounds like there's not nearly enough sibling ass-kicking in your family. Jack him in the face and make it clear that A) he'll be punched every hour on the hour until it's deleted and B) if he tells anyone, he gets a free concussion. Mr. Captain of the Football Douchers should be able to make it happen. Adapt Maddox's child disciplinary page: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat PS, what captain of any football team doesn't wield enough influence to shut up a little brother? srsly?

3 2
generalsmith2 0

nah, if he tries to beat his little bro up, the kid will just kill the lights. film it again. maybe cut out his nightlight and wake him up when he tries to sleep.

2 2
blueknight1st 26

"PS, what captain of any football team doesn't wield enough influence to shut up a little brother? srsly?" The kind that is so much of a pussy that when the light go out he starts to cry like an infant. I would not only put that video on the internet but I would also rent some time on the local public access tv channel and broadcast it on tv as well.

1 2
Joborikos 0

You see why FML is so useful? If this guy told anyone he knew or even someone who met him in person about this, he would catch an ass whooping for being a puss. But since we don't know who he is, he can vent to us and look for comfort and pray that someone will comment on this and say "Dude no way! Me too. I feel your pain!" Its a shame that will never happen because this is beyond being a puss... but keep your head up junior. Maybe your balls will drop from your ****** and you will finally be a man. Good luck on your sex change :( All this translates to... you fail on an epic scale.

5 3
Sharrakor 0

And yet a mere 3 comments later, someone says they share his pain. =-P

2 1
KellykopterXD 0

Lol serious shit. What would a funny one be like? Squeaky I presume. Ew.

1 0