Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the...

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 162

You deserved it 5 807

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Same thing different taste

By Nobody - 10/10/2009 12:07 - Singapore

Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 672

You deserved it 5 206

Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 391

You deserved it 3 125

By Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 549

You deserved it 53 181

By Dr.Anonymous - 22/03/2014 11:56 - India - Mumbai

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 346

You deserved it 3 776

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 196

You deserved it 3 954

Germ warfare

By kallens - 17/01/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 792

You deserved it 2 557

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 799

You deserved it 350

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 938

You deserved it 44 868

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 28 648

ifoundalaska 11

Monday 30 July 2012 9:26

That is definitely one of the most grotesque things I have ever heard in my nineteen years of living.

Molzen 3

Monday 30 July 2012 9:26

You should have at least tried waking him up or checking his pulse first..

Comments

vampire79 0

Monday 30 July 2012 10:24

Wow, your registry seems to have some low standards.. well at least experience is taking over with it's share of lessons.

jadedragon 5

Monday 30 July 2012 10:26

That's why you're suppost to use a barrier

day624 14

Monday 30 July 2012 11:06

Supposed** my friend.. Let us hope the grammar Nazis do not come upon your comment.

josmiley_fml 0

Monday 30 July 2012 10:34

Yuck!!! I wish I never read this!

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Monday 30 July 2012 10:42

Did you try checking his pulse first?

lou_knee 6

Monday 30 July 2012 14:12

Currently we're not taught to check for pulse, only check for breathing.

sickerthings 0

Monday 30 July 2012 15:30

126: Correction. Healthcare providers do check for pulse. Civillians do not.

Bloodknight 22

Monday 30 July 2012 10:51

I audibly gagged upon reading this. That is truly disgusting!

RatatatPat 2

Monday 30 July 2012 10:51

Silly rabbit, you forgot the ABC's! Check the airway, breathing and circulation before starting CPR.

musicforever444 4

Monday 30 July 2012 10:51

That has to be the grossest thing I've ever heard...

MrLoux 6

Monday 30 July 2012 10:53

Why did you try and give him cpr? Didn't they teach you to test his vitals before trying to crush his heart through his chest? I feel bad for you, but you as a registered nurse knows nothing about medicine. You could have killed him.

Cryptic17_fml 4

Monday 30 July 2012 11:01

Yes clearly you know more then the registered nurse. He didn't do compressions any way he did mouth to mouth. Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Isoldael 27

Monday 30 July 2012 11:41

According to my dictionary, CPR is used on people with cardiac arrest and includes chest compressions. If he's not in cardiac arrest, you don't call it CPR, just mouth-to-mouth.