Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark....

By Eyesore - 16/04/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 196

You deserved it 86 617

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Same thing different taste

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 687

You deserved it 55 060

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 00:00 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 360

You deserved it 5 103

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 628

You deserved it 4 826

By ktreens - 19/10/2012 04:06 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 790

You deserved it 26 430

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 116

Freaked out

By CriminalMistake - 04/05/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 662

You deserved it 63 207

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 943

You deserved it 2 843

Misunderstood

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I was jogging and was about to pass a woman ahead of me. I called out I was passing so she wouldn’t be scared. She waited till I was right next to her and pepper-sprayed my eyes while screaming, "Rapist." The cops were there in less than 5 minutes, and even though I was blinded, they still handcuffed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 130

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 225

You deserved it 2 475

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 4 161

_Chocoholic_ 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:24

What is mace? Like pepper spray? I'm assuming it's not the spiky club I'm thinking of, lol.

SarahB0184 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:21

Well, I guess you showed your "attacker" lol. I hope the mace was not too bad though. =)

Comments

Luky_fml 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:45

i thought it was gonna be like a boyfriend messing with you or soemthing, but this is better

adamsimon 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:49

81 is along the lines of what I was ready to post.

skiesofgreen 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:53

I don't think it's ridiculous for her to carry mace. In a city it's completely reasonable and lots of people do. I also don't think this is fake - growing up in a city I'm well aware that "dark" means only artificial light is surrounding you, darkness is all relative. Seeing a shadow thus not that unlikely, and if you're paranoid not that hard to think it's someone's following you. What I think is ridiculous is that the OP just shot the mace blindly behind them without even checking. Being careful is one thing, being irrational is another. What if it was an innocent passer by? Mace can be seriously damaging, especially when shot in the eyes.

Finnboghi 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:55

#93, there's a bit of a difference. Namely; aggravated assault, and aggravated assault with a weapon. Oh, wait, nevermind; if a woman attacks a guy, it's all ok if she thought he was a rapist. Those ice cream men are out to get you, you know. >.> Also, #83, you're my hero.

inerdablanket 4

Friday 17 April 2009 6:07

#102 Maybe she was walking where some lights were on, therefore casting a shadow.

marrz 0

Friday 17 April 2009 6:12

wow, you won't look to see who it was first, what if it were a cute guy who was trying to give back your wallet or something. this is why i'm paranoid when I walk home from the bars that some phyco girl will think i'm stalking them when just going the same way.

were_giraffe 2

Friday 17 April 2009 6:28

I have only two words for you - perhipial vision

HyotonXHaku 0

Friday 17 April 2009 6:28

Wow.... There is so much fail in that, I might die of laughter...

King_of_Kings 3

Friday 17 April 2009 6:37

why plead FML when it was your own fault? i say YDI for being stupid. now i'm not saying it's stupid to carry protection or to be cautious, but over reacting like you did was a bit dumb on your part. and to top off your dumb stupidity, you got temporarily blinded.