Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark....

By Eyesore - 16/04/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 196

You deserved it 86 618

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Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 687

You deserved it 55 060

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 00:00 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 360

You deserved it 5 103

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 628

You deserved it 4 826

By ktreens - 19/10/2012 04:06 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 790

You deserved it 26 431

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 117

Freaked out

By CriminalMistake - 04/05/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 662

You deserved it 63 208

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 944

You deserved it 2 843

Misunderstood

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I was jogging and was about to pass a woman ahead of me. I called out I was passing so she wouldn’t be scared. She waited till I was right next to her and pepper-sprayed my eyes while screaming, "Rapist." The cops were there in less than 5 minutes, and even though I was blinded, they still handcuffed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 130

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 226

You deserved it 2 475

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 4 161

_Chocoholic_ 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:24

What is mace? Like pepper spray? I'm assuming it's not the spiky club I'm thinking of, lol.

SarahB0184 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:21

Well, I guess you showed your "attacker" lol. I hope the mace was not too bad though. =)

Comments

Morokea 0

Friday 17 April 2009 10:27

You don't deserve it for being paranoid (who can help that, really?), but you kind of do for immediately spraying the someone you thought was there for no reason. Also lol @ the people who thought you were carrying *a* mace, hahaha

Kiriel 2

Friday 17 April 2009 10:44

Some towns realy do deserve carrying pepper spray. I live in a not too large but very sleazy town and my friend Britt was walkign to my house at night once. This one guy in a car followed her almost the whole way to my house. He would slow down behind ehr speed up then quickly circle the block to go back behind her, now she almost always has someone drive her here when she can avoid walking. :(

Contra 0

Friday 17 April 2009 11:10

#115 - What planet are you on? READ! The spray was blown into her face. And the people who were thinking of the spiky ball kind of mace, lol.

Tunad 0

Friday 17 April 2009 11:50

Jesus this site is terrible for people using hindsight to call the OPs retards; stop taking people word for word, try to understand what they mean rather then they say- its light enough to have a shadow because its light enough to walk etc. Stop calling "overly paranoided" "would have sued you" etc, if you walk that close to someone in the dark you really should either over take them, or back off a bit purely out of respect and common decency

Indiana_fml 4

Friday 17 April 2009 12:01

I agree with #72. Technically, you successfully defended yourself and repelled your attacker.

ArmoredSandwich 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:10

Oh, God you are stupid, I'm glad it got back to you, can you imagine if it your shadow was actually an innocent guy/gal? #122, I hope you agree that you shouldn't just blindly spray mace around... :/

annis_fml 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:17

hahahahaha thats pretty damn funny

Tybalt1212 0

Friday 17 April 2009 15:22

Wow, you deserved that. If there were someone behind you, nine out of ten chances would be that they were perfectly innocent. If you ever do mace anyone, I hope you get the arrest you deserve.

layout50 0

Friday 17 April 2009 15:32

#5 - haha, I get it #20 and all others posting in response to 5 or 20 - fail a mace...as in those things they used in medieval times to bash someone's skull in OP - you deserved that like no other - not everyone is out to get you...in fact next to no one is...get over yourself

Books4Me 0

Friday 17 April 2009 15:38

I cannot believe some people are actually questioning why the OP was carrying mace! I'm just going to assume most of those people are men, who GENERALLY don't have to be worried about being raped, kidnapped, and/or murdered like women these days, and wouldn't understand the paranoia simply being a woman can bring. I am a petite 19 year old girl and I worry every day about some psycho seeing me and thinking I would be an easy catch! Especially in the city. In the dark. You never risk the odds! Better safe then sorry. That being said, I do believe the OP jumped the gun and sprayed the mace a bit quickly. Probably wiser to take a few glances over the shoulder first...or even stop and take a good long look. Cause you probably could've gotten sued had you maced some poor person walking home like yourself! haha.