Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark....

By Eyesore - 16/04/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 196

You deserved it 86 617

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Same thing different taste

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 687

You deserved it 55 060

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 00:00 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 360

You deserved it 5 103

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 628

You deserved it 4 826

By ktreens - 19/10/2012 04:06 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 790

You deserved it 26 430

Opportunist

By Tmo - 12/08/2023 08:00

Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 116

Freaked out

By CriminalMistake - 04/05/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 662

You deserved it 63 207

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 943

You deserved it 2 843

Misunderstood

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I was jogging and was about to pass a woman ahead of me. I called out I was passing so she wouldn’t be scared. She waited till I was right next to her and pepper-sprayed my eyes while screaming, "Rapist." The cops were there in less than 5 minutes, and even though I was blinded, they still handcuffed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 130

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 225

You deserved it 2 475

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 4 161

_Chocoholic_ 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:24

What is mace? Like pepper spray? I'm assuming it's not the spiky club I'm thinking of, lol.

SarahB0184 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:21

Well, I guess you showed your "attacker" lol. I hope the mace was not too bad though. =)

Comments

desertdem 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:11

Sounds pretty fake.

babaa_fml 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:12

EPIC FAIL!!!!!! ahaha suburban people are so paranoid lol

stegd133 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:25

fyi, mace will do nothing against a focused attacker - it may throw off a casual mugger, but someone who is truly motivated to harm you will not be effected seriously enough to stop. you're better off carrying an actually weapon, like a knife, or perhaps a tazer.

bubs_AKA_vermin 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:25

well, i feel your pain. paranoia's a bitch. at least YOU don't hear things at night and see thing move when they aren't. *shudder* and i agree with 78. *grim nod*

rxxk 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:26

Lolz. When I first read this, I thought s/he was talking about the physical hand-weapon mace (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceremonial_mace), not the spray.

daisyfuck 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:27

#20; wtf, what is the difference between defending yourself and using mace to defend yourself? It's the same thing. "Overly paranoid"? Are you kidding? Watch, (assuming the OP is a girl), if she actually WAS attacked she'd be blamed for not being more careful. Mace is awesome and comes in handy.