Love: Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by...

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 474

You deserved it 7 058

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 847

You deserved it 4 744

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 14:01

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 201

Catch 22

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 318

You deserved it 1 904

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 120

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 15 890

Sounds like a sitcom

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 16:00

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 1 706

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 326

You deserved it 3 409

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 3 711

Ah yes, homophobic jokes, so funny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 05:01

Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 107

Ligerie 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

Is wife code for "penis"?

Plumppotato 3

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

did you tell him that?

Comments

o0ginger0o 7

Wednesday 26 August 2009 5:07

Maybe that last chick in 1985 was his wife and it just took him a while to find you.

ElNegroHombre 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 5:14

You shoulda punched that ***** in the throat. I'd knock him out.

triplethreat13 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 5:41

everyone against gays should go curl up and die. now. it's not like they can help it. gays make the best friends for girls. my best friend is gay and he's really awesome, better than all of you. but gays really can't always control it. some of them get lucky and end up bi, but not all of them do, and there's nothing wrong with that. OP, good for you. you're not afraid to be yourself. and FYL by the way.

njy6196 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:10

WTF

DameGreyWulf 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:30

Wow man Sucks ass... This is like the reverse of those FMLs about the stupid bimbos slapping random dudes they mistook for their boyfriends just because they spoke to some other girl.

CaptainSarcasm 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 6:31

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna Way before Nirvana There was U2 and Blondie And music still on MTV Her two kids in high school They tell her that she's uncool Cuz she's still preoccupied With 19, 19, 1985

jSOPURE 3

Wednesday 26 August 2009 7:46

Ahh, 1985. Twas a good year. :)

retrosaxaphone 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:00

YOU GO NUMBER 86!!!!! :D

plexico 3

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:01

You should have violently anally raped the guy and that might prove to him that you are gay. He was probably sufficiently drunk that he would not come up with the counterpoint that you could be bisexual. Drunk and anally raped.