Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,...

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 903

You deserved it 45 019

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

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By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

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Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

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By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 388

You deserved it 5 713

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

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You deserved it 18 700

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

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Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 338

You deserved it 8 737

Freakout

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 8 285

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 511

You deserved it 15 205

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 625

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

shilo_wallace 0

Monday 11 May 2009 6:15

How do snails do it anyway? LOL please share.

MrFail_fml 0

Monday 11 May 2009 12:23

oh my god, nasty, dude nasty :P watch out for them Animal Planet Mating documentaries :P

johnmac306 0

Monday 11 May 2009 20:41

LMAO!!!!

ohitsali 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 0:11

hookers > snails.

chilipeppersrok 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 4:07

LMAO! SNAILS?? Ive never seen snails do it HAHAHA is it really that hawt? lol

Islander_fml 5

Tuesday 12 May 2009 7:39

This is so ******* hilarious! I'm not sure whether to say FYL or YDI, but it's cool either way!

FlatBaby 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 16:11

You have no idea how much i laughed.. You seriously need something

Beeebop 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 16:13

You are odd.

aurora83 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 18:59

creepy...and why are you sharing??

mrswineflu 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 21:55

i will never talk to you u piece of fukin shit i will rather have bufflo dick my ass in sted of you u belong in the fukin garbage

Keywords

Cats Gross Animals Relatable Poopoo peepee Health Creepy Kids Scary Mental health Parents Cold weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 161

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 59

The Top

Today, I made my school's soccer team. I told the coach that since I have diabetes, I might need to sit out occasionally. He promptly erased my name and said he didn't accept "slackers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 237

Today, I learned that my mum makes it a habit to listen at the door whenever I'm on the toilet to make sure my "bowels are in tip-top shape". FML

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Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 054

You deserved it 1 282

Today, I'm on vacation in Germany and in our seemingly normal hotel my fucking door won't stop opening and closing by itself, and I can't fucking sleep. Jesus Christ ghost, go away, I don't wanna die as well. I thought this hotel would be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 1 437

Today, while having sex with my husband, he told me to put my legs around him, which I did. He then whispered sweetly in my ear, "You better hold on tight spider monkey." This is when I knew my Twilight obsession went too far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 532

Today, after enduring years in a sexless marriage, I asked my wife if she will make love to me ever again, to which she replied, "Probably not." Half an hour later she's talking about us going on a trip to Egypt next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 252