Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,...

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 905

You deserved it 45 020

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Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

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You deserved it 159

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

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You deserved it 8 325

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 13 114

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 388

You deserved it 5 713

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 18 703

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 432

You deserved it 1 857

Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 338

You deserved it 8 737

Freakout

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 909

You deserved it 8 286

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 514

You deserved it 15 208

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 625

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

shilo_wallace 0

Monday 11 May 2009 6:15

How do snails do it anyway? LOL please share.

MrFail_fml 0

Monday 11 May 2009 12:23

oh my god, nasty, dude nasty :P watch out for them Animal Planet Mating documentaries :P

johnmac306 0

Monday 11 May 2009 20:41

LMAO!!!!

ohitsali 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 0:11

hookers > snails.

chilipeppersrok 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 4:07

LMAO! SNAILS?? Ive never seen snails do it HAHAHA is it really that hawt? lol

Islander_fml 5

Tuesday 12 May 2009 7:39

This is so ******* hilarious! I'm not sure whether to say FYL or YDI, but it's cool either way!

FlatBaby 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 16:11

You have no idea how much i laughed.. You seriously need something

Beeebop 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 16:13

You are odd.

aurora83 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 18:59

creepy...and why are you sharing??

mrswineflu 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 21:55

i will never talk to you u piece of fukin shit i will rather have bufflo dick my ass in sted of you u belong in the fukin garbage

Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Video games

The Top

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 128

You deserved it 1 252

Today, a close friend tried to kill me by running me over with her car. Why? Because I didn't want to share the pain meds I had due to a third-degree burn. My leg is now broken in 3 places, my ankle is shattered, and I have to use a walker because I'm too clumsy for crutches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 121

You deserved it 321

Today, my best friend of 18 years decided she'd rather continue sleeping with her brother-in-law/my ex fiance against her husband's wishes, than continue our friendship. All I asked is that she back away from him before she ruined her marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 176

Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 331

You deserved it 1 824

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 39 423

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 632

You deserved it 10 031