Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,... - FML

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 903

You deserved it 45 019

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Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

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By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 736

You deserved it 8 325

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 268

You deserved it 13 113

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 388

You deserved it 5 713

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 18 700

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 431

You deserved it 1 857

Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 338

You deserved it 8 737

Freakout

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 8 285

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 511

You deserved it 15 205

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 625

Next

Top comments

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

romeovilleanyone 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 20:45

INSECTIALITY haha awesome

justxdream 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 21:06

snails? try human ****. probably even MORE effective...

EmbryH 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 23:06

Wow. You get hot and bothered watching what is basically two slimy feet going at it... ...try eharmony?

jmh13 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 23:37

hahahaha wtf try getting a girl. or go have fun with a snail if that what you like...

kunkel93 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 23:51

wow honestly, thats really freaking disgusting...

ebbasaur 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 1:32

Well...how do snails do it?

BlackWolfVII 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:19

Someone's got a hentai fetish. Slimy, weird things rubbing against each other. Only thing missing is the tentacles.

P4R4N0ID 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:34

Same thing happened to me. /=

robshley 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 3:59

LOL............ marry me we can make love like snails do

shazaire 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:10

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DUDE HAVE U SEEN WHAT SNAILS LOOK LIKE GROSSS !

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 3

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend thought that a few candles in our room would create a cozy and romantic atmosphere. Especially the one on the bookshelf. That candle damaged only one book - it was signed by my great professor, who's long gone. She doesn't understand why I can't just buy a new copy and deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 112

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She sent me a link to a story online about a woman who abused her dog to the point of death and I didn’t vomit while reading it. According to her, that makes me a “heartless monster.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 681

You deserved it 263

Today, my roommate finally moved out yesterday, so I got to experience my first night without the ticking time bomb that is his dogs. I still woke up at the exact time when they would always bark for no reason, apparently out of habit. For the record, that time is around 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 98

Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML

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You deserved it 261

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 577

You deserved it 4 637

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

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You deserved it 5 555