Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,... - FML

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 905

You deserved it 45 020

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 159

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 737

You deserved it 8 325

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 13 114

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 388

You deserved it 5 713

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 18 703

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 432

You deserved it 1 857

Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 338

You deserved it 8 737

Freakout

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 909

You deserved it 8 286

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 514

You deserved it 15 208

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 625

Next

Top comments

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

AshlenDoll 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:48

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LMFAO ULTIMATEEEEEE FAIL

bigmooseextreme 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:41

FOUND IT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYR3qP07CTE

CurdledMilk 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 6:31

Wait, #3, why exactly does the OP disgust you? Get the **** over it. If he got a hard on, he got a hard on. It's not like he was killing anyone. I'm guessing you're still in middle school...

Eugene7 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 7:10

I have been told i look like a snail... we should hook up.

xxmsp91 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 9:58

LOL LOL LOL. im just speechless. wow haha, just bursting with laughter here LMAO

Rawrrr14 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 17:25

FYL. you got turned on by watching SNAILS. lmao

lawls 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 22:32

Hahaha , its all good im into that kinda stuff too ;)

hashismoments 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 23:03

eww dude what the hell?! u freak!!

itouchguy360 3

Monday 11 May 2009 0:10

That is really disgusting. Get a life.

MackenzieB 0

Monday 11 May 2009 4:04

Hahahahahaha

14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 3 982

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 105

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 291

You deserved it 9 295

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 030

You deserved it 895

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 926

You deserved it 6 905

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547

You deserved it 1 948

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 834

You deserved it 6 136