Intimacy: Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden,... - FML

By stpdaziandude - 08/05/2009 20:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

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Same thing different taste

Gastropod scandal

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML

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By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

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Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 268

You deserved it 13 113

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 388

You deserved it 5 713

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

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You deserved it 18 700

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

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You deserved it 1 857

Stickler

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 15:49 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 338

You deserved it 8 737

Freakout

By Pk45 - 11/11/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 8 285

Dirty mind

By FUCK YOU - 08/08/2014 21:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 511

You deserved it 15 205

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 70 625

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Top comments

Komatose 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...

ilikerainbows 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:28

i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.

Comments

And1Li 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:13

your life is ******.

mr_sir2009 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:14

Ummm...woah...thats creepy

babyshy 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:23

thats pathetic. not to mention disgusting.

airandfingers 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:25

Whatever, guys get hard for no reason all the time. Watching snails do it might just make you think of sex in general. This is a "Who cares?" entry. And wtf do you mean "All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it"? Like they should've warned you about the graphic content?

9kinds 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:32

Haha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BckqviVaWl0&feature=related

numberfortytwo 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:35

You know that when snails mate they're exchanging sperm with each other (because technically they're hermaphrodite), but I reckon that means they're having gay sex!

Bryan_Z 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:36

LMFAO

cocomais_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:36

i watched a thing on fish and i got semiaroused, so dont feel bad.

life_is_life 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:42

LMFAO i think i know wat movie ur talking about... its a science video related to ecosystems.. just watched it last week XD

neworleanz9thwd 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 1:47

Dude you just a ******* loser!

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I agree, your life sucks 26 591

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Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML

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You deserved it 128

Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML

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