Love: Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying...

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By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 583

You deserved it 35 738

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Same thing different taste

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 260

You deserved it 46 588

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 268

You deserved it 5 595

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 194

You deserved it 21 659

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 138

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 155

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 807

By Samipearl - 12/11/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 503

You deserved it 6 410

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 5 761

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 251

You deserved it 45 093

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 752

You deserved it 2 834

chosha_fml 26

Monday 10 October 2011 3:09

YDI for thinking 'hey baby' is suave.

glutgyoogle 6

Monday 10 October 2011 3:03

Well at least you were nice and CHILL

Comments

swampbilly 5

Monday 10 October 2011 4:48

Hey man I feel ya, I got a cold beer poured down my pants at sum point last night

ikickgingers 15

Monday 10 October 2011 5:26

That was you? :/ sorry

wriptidez 0

Monday 10 October 2011 4:53

dont talk down to her

25shark 5

Monday 10 October 2011 4:54

Ice ice baby

aback 4

Monday 10 October 2011 5:04

Your buddy just didn't want the waitress spitting in your meals.

joemartin4214 4

Monday 10 October 2011 5:09

All I can think of is Butthead saying "Hey Baby" when I read this.

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 10 October 2011 5:13

Which is why you don't mix work and love (or at least sex). It's not some dumb office law set because they want better productivity, it's a highly heeded law of nature set so as to save you from your idiot co-workers! Duh *slaps in forehead* *eye roll*

TheTehOhPeh 4

Monday 10 October 2011 15:42

I don't quite understand what it is you're trying to say...

hateevryone 14

Monday 10 October 2011 5:18

was it on purpose or by accident?

countmystrides 5

Monday 10 October 2011 5:20

Your friends seem to be as slick as your pick up lines

mariet_fml 23

Monday 10 October 2011 5:37

Mmhmm, especially when that woman is has to be polite just to keep her job. Anyone who hits on a waitress - unless they've actually talked to her first - should be punched in the genitalia.