App
FML for mobile
Free
Open in app

By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 582
You deserved it 35 734
Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 316
You deserved it 133
Next

Top comments

glutgyoogle 6

Well at least you were nice and CHILL

117 8

Comments

satph 12

'Hey baby'? You seriously could think of nothing more smooth?

2 0
biggee531 7

Act like a manwhore, your balls will get iced. Confucius said that.

3 0
stevenmx86 7

Yeah, flirting with a waitress is sooo suave...

3 0
TheNewGuy03 28

What the hell, people. Way to get the wrong idea. I said that that's *not* the way to go about talking to someone you have an interest in. Try not jumping to conclusions next time. |the kid|

2 3
niplipsip 9

better yet, don't use any "pick-up" lines. they don't work.

4 0
TheNewGuy03 28

So, in case you need further clarification: 1) You *don't* make yourself and others look like a ******* plum fool by saying retarded lines to someone who is in the process of doing their job. 2) Since you may not see the person outside the current setting (restaurant, store, etc.), that would be the only opportunity (excluding coincidence) for you to talk to that person, *but* you go about it the right way. Do you seriously think I'm stupid enough to take the side of a person who thinks that "hey, baby" is a passable line to throw at a person you see as a prospect for a relationship or even a fling? ****, even ****** don't fall for that shit. |the kid|

2 2