Love: Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying...

By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 580

You deserved it 35 723

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 255

You deserved it 46 576

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 259

You deserved it 5 587

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 640

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 145

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 784

By Samipearl - 12/11/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 495

You deserved it 6 409

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 899

You deserved it 5 758

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 084

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 742

You deserved it 2 832

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 667

chosha_fml 26

Monday 10 October 2011 3:09

YDI for thinking 'hey baby' is suave.

glutgyoogle 6

Monday 10 October 2011 3:03

Well at least you were nice and CHILL

Comments

twofirstnames 12

Monday 10 October 2011 3:05

That's hilarious, but sure sucks

mserrato 8

Monday 10 October 2011 3:08

You should have just ignored it

chosha_fml 26

Monday 10 October 2011 3:09

YDI for thinking 'hey baby' is suave.

spikey27 0

Monday 10 October 2011 5:29

...... You're a dumbass.

kateheartswaffle 0

Monday 10 October 2011 5:38

I totally agree. I always feel disrespected when a guy I'm not even close to tries to use pet names with me!

fmlallthetyme 23

Monday 10 October 2011 8:08

He could have been trying to sing Hey Baby. Heeyyyyy, hey baby. I wanna knowwww, if you'll be my girl.

mbusey 20

Tuesday 23 July 2013 18:45

That's not flirting. That's just creepy.

Runninvegan 8

Monday 10 October 2011 3:09

* Insert joke about being wet *

threer 30

Tuesday 15 October 2013 14:44

*Inserts thumbs down*

InnerCosmo 5

Monday 10 October 2011 3:13

Nice! lol

krustacea 1

Monday 10 October 2011 3:14

KARMA

daysleeper666 1

Monday 10 October 2011 3:58

How does he deserve it for trying to get a girl?

abz_1995 6

Monday 10 October 2011 3:15

the moment i read ''Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress.'' i pressed YDI

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 10 October 2011 3:15

Hey baby, you're so cool you make my balls shrink.

jroxursox1 10

Sunday 8 January 2012 20:37

This made my day.

alival 12

Monday 10 October 2011 3:15

Haha!!! Lol! Suks 4 u!

chels1994 11

Monday 10 October 2011 3:16

sorry but you deserved that

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 349

You deserved it 8 250

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 542

You deserved it 4 777

Today, I forgot to bring my lunch to work. I got so hungry, I resorted to eating antacid tablets from the medicine cabinet for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 242

You deserved it 6 332

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 741

You deserved it 1 841

Today, I tried to write a journal entry about my day, but since I've become so used to going on tangents, my daily entry did everything but talk about my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 618

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 303

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 031

You deserved it 14 078

Same thing different taste

Hi-de-hi

Business casual

Klutz

Maturity level

Surprise!

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