Love: Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying...

By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 580

You deserved it 35 727

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 256

You deserved it 46 583

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 263

You deserved it 5 591

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 648

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 146

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 792

By Samipearl - 12/11/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 498

You deserved it 6 409

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 5 758

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 086

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 745

You deserved it 2 832

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 537

You deserved it 38 669

chosha_fml 26

Monday 10 October 2011 3:09

YDI for thinking 'hey baby' is suave.

glutgyoogle 6

Monday 10 October 2011 3:03

Well at least you were nice and CHILL

Comments

iDoubtWhales 7

Monday 10 October 2011 5:49

And yet idiots on this world still see that "you deserved it"??

HappyPickles 11

Monday 10 October 2011 5:57

So, was your trying to help get your hormones under control - or was he just being a klutz? Maybe you shouldn't talk to women when you're under the influence of hormones - and maybe you shouldn't go out with klutzy mates when you're on the prowl for a hot waitress? (I still clicked FYL...)

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 10 October 2011 7:28

- Do you know why I pulled you over? -- Because I'm under the influence of hormones?

CHOMP3R 0

Monday 10 October 2011 6:01

Well. YDI. Obviously.(: Hahahaha nice try ;)

patrickalamo 47

Monday 10 October 2011 6:08

Talk about blue balls

TheNewGuy03 28

Monday 10 October 2011 6:14

95 -- I've hit on a waitress before; do I deserve to have my nards inverted by a strong blow from a fist? If that is the person you are interested in, then what would you suggest? How do you even start getting to know a woman if you can't talk to her? |the kid|

holligirl19 0

Monday 10 October 2011 6:18

That's what you get.

yourkindacool18 5

Monday 10 October 2011 21:40

when you let your heart win. woahh oh woah ohh ohhg

yourkindacool18 5

Monday 10 October 2011 6:24

OMG that sucks so bad!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO AWKS! HAHAHA so funny omggggggg!

bannedforlife 0

Monday 10 October 2011 6:38

Hey baby?? Really? Jackwagon.

goobergirlie 5

Monday 10 October 2011 6:45

You really shouldnt hit on her while she's at work. She's probably exhausted from a long day and now she has to deal with a jackass hitting on her while the poor girl is trying to work. Back off.

TheNewGuy03 28

Monday 10 October 2011 7:08

Oh, you are absolutely right. Attempting to flirt with a lady (a respectable one, anyway) by saying "hey, baby" is one of the most stupid ways you can go about it. There's a method to this madness, it seems. *snicker* |the kid|