Work: Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't...

By Username - 15/12/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 568

You deserved it 2 936

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

By oh no - 06/06/2016 15:45 - United States - Rochester

Today, I set my phone down at work in the back while I helped a customer. When I came back it was gone. It took me twenty minutes to find, duct taped to the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 152

You deserved it 3 074

By nerderer - 30/04/2015 18:48 - United States - Duluth

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 852

You deserved it 6 842

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 193

You deserved it 4 585

Scavengers

By Anonymous - 25/12/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 006

You deserved it 26 777

By Deaf and Dumb - 23/05/2017 18:00

Today, while on the bus, the girl in front of me asked me if I could find the orange she'd dropped. I couldn't see it, but when I told her that there was no orange there, she gave me the strangest look. She'd said ring, not orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 022

You deserved it 606

By Ansharus - 06/06/2016 13:47 - Belgium - Londerzeel

Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 831

You deserved it 4 043

Is gift for you

By NotAThief - 14/08/2016 22:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a store to buy some noodles, but they were out, so I left empty handed. When I left, the store the alarm went off so I was called back in, and they searched my bag. They didn't find any stolen goods. They did find a dead mouse my cat must have left for me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 541

You deserved it 1 084

By Username - 04/08/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 015

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 05/10/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 337

You deserved it 2 737

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 126

You deserved it 2 545

jjoyce6 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:47

Orange you glad they didn't take your banana?

wafflesyay 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 15:45

Ok then..

Comments

jkatz1227 6

Friday 16 December 2011 2:41

WHAT?! So now you know there's somone you work with who loves nailing fruit to things...

Dishwad 0

Friday 16 December 2011 3:18

That's where I keep mine.

ArielTheMermaid 17

Friday 16 December 2011 3:37

"That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year." "She asked me how to spell orange."

drawmesunshine 17

Friday 16 December 2011 4:07

"My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain... Well, they can tell when it's already raining."

ArielTheMermaid 17

Saturday 31 December 2011 19:54

So if you're from Africa, why are you white?

KickItHigh 32

Friday 16 December 2011 5:19

This is just one of those FMLs that make you think, WTF!

needsagf14 12

Friday 16 December 2011 5:51

Oh right! I remember where I put it! On the ceiling. With a hammer and nails

ZeroIce 12

Friday 16 December 2011 5:56

1. Demonic workplace 2. Suicide orange 3. Demonic orange XD

DevilsMetsGiants 30

Friday 16 December 2011 6:32

make brownies for everyone at work and put weed in em

j3ebrules 13

Friday 16 December 2011 6:53

Where do you work? On the show "Impractical Jokers"?

Misery_Bunny 0

Friday 16 December 2011 6:58

Well thats just mean. Fruit abuse!

meggiemooger 0

Friday 16 December 2011 7:23

wtf. that's both rude and awesome!

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The Top

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 932

You deserved it 6 772

Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 813

You deserved it 1 399

The Top

Today, I found out my dad got Covid after spending the weekend at home. All my classes have me doing final projects, and my dorm's internet is a dumpster fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 131

Today, I diagnosed myself with a debilitating case of vicious circle: I am now too depressed to do the things that usually manage to pull me out of my depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 152

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 412

You deserved it 5 372

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 3 505

Today, on our honeymoon, we’ve only had sex twice. Meanwhile, my husband has masturbated to porn at least once a day since we've got here, and it’s super obvious because he gets sleepy as hell after sex or a wank, while I’m left frustrated with nothing to do except watch Netflix and start drinking before noon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 158

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 235

You deserved it 60 905

Same thing different taste

Scavengers

Is gift for you

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